all

LINK: all

Currently listening to: Hands Clean – Alanis Morissette

Just make sure you don’t tell on me, especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world
‘Cause you’re such a pretty thing when you’re done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body

Pick up the first book you see, turn to page 9, go to line 7, fifth word. Thank you Chase for the prompt!

Book: Nine Stories – J.D. Salinger

The word was “all”.

For people who don’t really know me, it probably looks like I have it all or has it all figured out. What problems could I possibly have? I had an assistant who would comment about how I am so well put together and I make things look effortless. The truth is, I spend a lot of energy making it appear that way. I work hard to creating an aura of calmness, I found out that it helps patients be more forthcoming with me, and this has been instrumental in my ability to help them.

I’m a multifaceted person, where three versions of me exist simultaneously.

Version 1: what I present to my colleagues, acquaintances, patients, and strangers. I appear capable, reliable, and composed. I meet the expectations and appear calm and collected.

Version 2: what my friends and family know. I’m a bit more candid and at times can be quite funny. They see a sliver of my quirks, insecurity, and my complex thoughts.

Version 3: is the person I am with myself and here on this blog. This is where I voice my angst, exhaustion, desires, self-doubt, and vulnerability. It’s where I try to make sense of who I am becoming.

Most people only encounter one version of me and assume they know all about me. But in actuality, there is no single version that tells the complete truth, I am all of them at once—the polished looking exterior, trusted friend, and private self.