sell out

LINK: sell out

In my drafts since February 18, 2026.

My Korean guy friends call me a sell-out for dating outside the Asian race… but trust me, I’ve tried.

Most of the Korean men I’ve encountered are drawn to a specific type: petite women around 5’3″ and 90 pounds. They’re delicate, helpless, and beautiful. I’m 5’6″and pushing 131 pounds. I’ve been called “sturdy” and I can’t tell you the emotional damage that’s done to me over the years. I am also average looking, going to the Motherland has further damaged my psyche. So I am two out of the three.

I can aegyo (애교) and play cutesy but I think I look cringe doing it.

My Vietnamese and Chinese friends can get away with being domineering because of their stature, but me? I’d be labeled as a Godzilla bitch, even though that doesn’t seem fair. I’m not intimidating nor am I confrontational, in fact I dislike unnecessary drama, but I will set boundaries and stand up for myself when it’s warranted.

Dating non-Koreans (including other Asian races) is a bit easier. There’s less pressure to fit into their box and my height and weight don’t seem to be an issue with them. Americans seem to be much more laid back. But with that being said, the cultural nuances (hierarchy, honorifics, unspoken cues, mindset of the collective, language, emphasis on restraint and endurance) are completely lost and explaining it in English or Spanish is not suffice because some things cannot be directly translated. And some things cannot be taught. It just is.

And if I’m going to be frfr (for real for real/forrils), dating a pretty Korean guy only increases my insecurities. There was only one Korean guy who never made me feel that way, Big D. But we’ve known each other since our Minnesota days. We swap beauty hacks and recommend to each other the best and latest beauty trends in Korea (LED devices, snail mucin, PDRN, and etc.).


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50 responses to “sell out”

  1. aparnachillycupcakes Avatar

    You will do well my friend 🌷

    1. justrojie Avatar

      thank you, Aparna!

  2. Jake Avatar

    FYI. Godzilla is my spirit animal. Been a Godzilla fan since I could barely walk.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      hahaha i just wanna be a baby deer but i get to be a monster sad laugh

  3. Jake Avatar

    As far as who you perfer to date, I say fuck everyone elses opinions. Those opinions don’t matter, only thing that matters is the relationship you build between you and your chosen.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      facts, no printer

      1. Jake Avatar

        Ha!

  4. Ajinkya Rane Avatar

    Remember that one episode on Buzzfeed where they tested Korean aunties to see if they thought Eugene was handsome and they all said no but then they told them he was famous and then suddenly he turned attractive? I think the general population worldwide is like that. A few years later Eugene came out as gay and its a shame for the women because he is a handsome fellow who is dating a white guy. Ha!

    1. justrojie Avatar

      lol i’m glad he had the courage to come out. i can’t imagine what that musta been like plus being korean.

      1. Ajinkya Rane Avatar

        Yeah his dad was supportive of him so I guess that helps.

  5. Nicholas K F Matte Avatar

    That pic is SUPER sweet, Rojie!!!

    1. justrojie Avatar

      aw thank you, Nico!

  6. ianmdudley Avatar

    I have no doubt you’ll find your King Ghidorah. 😉 Better to be with someone you can be yourself around, rather than stuck playing a role that will either doom the relationship or leave you miserable. But I can see where the cultural differences could lead to some (unintentional) friction.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      unless he’s willing to endure a decade worth of kdramas to learn lolol

      1. ianmdudley Avatar

        A decade of k dramas? Even a week’s is cruel…

        1. justrojie Avatar

          lolol it’s super addicting

  7. Nicholas K F Matte Avatar

    Bien venue!😁

  8. Hazel Avatar

    It’s funny! They joke that we’re just in the wrong place; everyone is attractive, it’s just the place.😁🤭 I think you’ll get married non-Korean. It suits you, I think.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      lol we’ll see what happens, life takes a lot of different turns

      1. Hazel Avatar

        I hope the turn is not for singlehood😁 like me🤩

  9. Dinesh Kumar Avatar

    Rojie, love yourself first—you’re sturdy in the best way, like a queen who doesn’t need to shrink to shine. Dating outside the box sounds freeing; cultural vibes matter, but so does feeling seen. Big D sounds like a gem!

    1. justrojie Avatar

      haha yes he is an awesome friend

  10. Info-Man Avatar

    No healthy person or girl can weight 90 pounds that’s so toxic tbh ……i myself am 110 ponds and all my indian relatives say i am too slim i should gain weight , and height of 5’3″ lol i can’t even believe this one , being 165 cm ,that’s not so healthy things. Idk ,i have heard that south korea have weird or toxic bueaty standards for girls, this actually needs a change .
    Btw you are so beautiful 💜💜 don’t compare your self with any toxic bueaty standard,you yourself are a standard girl .

    1. justrojie Avatar

      i’m like a size large in korea lolol and i think 5’3″ is probably the most perfect height for an asian female

      1. Info-Man Avatar

        Is it because Asian men are short ? No hate , but that is so toxic ……..we live in 2026 not in 1950s.

        1. justrojie Avatar

          idk koreans these days are getting taller and idk if it’s cause of the hormones in the foods or what

    2. justrojie Avatar

      also wanna hear your thoughts on this song:https://youtu.be/TlrGMdDKvpk?si=d2Zxz06YYmvkky2w

      1. Info-Man Avatar

        I love this song , idk why I felt a little bit of pain listening to it .This song is now in my playlist lol . Btw I didn’t know about this group , it’s new to me . Thanks for such a great recommendation . 💜💜💜

        1. justrojie Avatar

          same!! yw!

          1. Info-Man Avatar

            I loved it 💜💜.

  11. Jesse Pallante Avatar

    Well said, that picture of you is very pretty. I think.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      aw thank you, Jesse…

  12. Baby Dreamland Avatar

    Amazing 😍😄

    1. justrojie Avatar

      thanks, baby

      1. Baby Dreamland Avatar

        Welcome 🤗🤗

  13. ibarynt Avatar

    Ahhh people and their opinions. It gets tiring to have to constantly give history lessons 😁.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Everyone has something to say and so many pple can’t keep their opinions to themselves lol Koreans are so judgy

  14. vic5566 Avatar

    ahh the cultural difference part is very relatable. I’ve seen it either make or break relationships in my family. Also Korean Beauty Standards are too harsh. Dis a song dat makes me feel better abt myself: https://youtu.be/Rb9gGs38DvU?si=hE8wd38IcuFvyFXM (there is none w/ Eng subs 😔)

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Ooh this is a great song, never heard of them before! And yes k beauty standards are so harsh not even the kpop idols meet them sometimes

      1. vic5566 Avatar

        and the idols who don’t meet them get bashed mercilessly online, in spite of their other talents. Sad situation 😔

        1. justrojie Avatar

          that’s so so sad!

  15. Violet Lentz Avatar

    Don’t ever change in effort to fit in anyone else’s box- you are way to wonderfully unique to do that.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      🥹 thank you!!

  16. Sambuca (✿◠‿◠) Avatar

    I know I will never fit the mould of itsy bitsy either. I am short and delicate, but I am overweight. (And I admit to it) but if there ever were a Korean guy that would date me?? FUCK YES. ♥

    1. justrojie Avatar

      haha yasss girllll

      1. Sambuca (✿◠‿◠) Avatar

        I’m up for any single Asian guy rly. But Koreans and Japanese? 😋

        1. justrojie Avatar

          lol yes koreans and japanese!

  17. Nemo Avatar

    I have to get throwing on my racism hat out of the way and say, when you write “emotional damage,” all I can think of is the comedian my co-worker put me onto. Steven He, I believe. That being said, I have to laugh when you write 131 as if that were a number to be somehow appalled by. There is a saying in the Anglosphere, by some considered a joke, but for many very fair – “if she ain’t 280 she’s not a lady.” Anyway. I’m sorry it’s a rough go for you.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      thank you, Nemo!

      1. Nemo Avatar

        My pleasure. Eat well, be well. As they say at the Governor’s (a Maine restaurant) “life is short, eat dessert first.)

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