death of a pastor’s wife

LINK: death of a pastor’s wife

Oh boy…

A few of my friends, Christians and non-Christians, have asked if I’ve seen this documentary series. Of course I did. And I’ve got thoughts. Lots of them.

One of my super Christian colleagues said, “This is making Christians look so bad.”
I rolled my eyes and inwardly thought, “This isn’t the only thing making Christians look bad”.

TRIGGER WARNING: suicide, abuse, grooming

SPOILER ALERT

This takes place in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

It’s about Mica Miller, who was married to the pastor, John-Paul Miller. Actually, let me bring it back a little bit. Mica and her family joined Solid Rock Church when she was 13 and JP was already a pastor there and 15 years older than Mica. She grew up in the congregation, became a worship leader, and married another fellow church member at 18, with JP officiating.

Years later, JP began texting Mica complimenting her on her looks, and the relationship turned physical. This affair ended their marriages and it resulted in a scandal that shook the congregation. JP asked the church to forgive him in tearful sermons and for the most part, the church did… and Mica and JP married in 2017.

Since the day they became husband and wife, Mica wrote that she has been abused in every way (emotionally, sexually, spiritually, financially, and physically). While believing at the same time that submitting to her husband was what God asked of her. The documentary also details an incident in which JP forced Mica to take testosterone injections in order for her to keep up with him and have sex at least 3-5 times a day, if she refused to have sex with him or tried to sleep, he would keep her awake by blasting music or throwing water on her until she complied. He dehumanized Mica by coercing her to have sex with homeless men and other hideous acts.

He also initiated a 5150 (involuntary psychiatric hospitalization hold) for 48 hours, telling her family that she was having a psychotic episode. When she was hospitalized, he took her car, phone, laptop, and refused to return the items for weeks, calling it marital property. Mica later told police she believed the hospitalization was a pretext to strip her of her belongings and independence, and that JP had groomed her for years before they married.

Eventually, Mica filed for divorce in 2023, however, JP escalated into cyberstalking and bullying her by posting nude photos of her online, placing GPS trackers on her car, calling and texting her over 50 times a day, slashing her tires, and interfering with her finances. She told her family, friends, and police that she feared for her life. As this was happening, JP was having an affair with a married church goer, misusing church funds, and preaching about women needing to submit to their husbands.

On April 27, 2024, she drove to a local pawn shop, bought a gun, drove to a state park in North Carolina, called 911 to report her own location before dying by suicide. It’s controversial because she was planning her future and she had previously told one of her closest friends, “He’s gonna say I killed myself—telling the whole church, every sermon, every opportunity he gets, to tell the church that I have a mental illness. He’s never going to let me go. He said there’s nowhere you can go that I can’t find you.”

I think that JP is a piece of shit. IDGAF if he’s a pastor. Whether he pulled the trigger or not, this was the cause and effect of his gaslighting and narcissistic behavior. Hence, this is why I have issues with religion and the church.