amor fati

LINK: amor fati

Currently listening to: Dog Days Are Over – Florence + The Machine

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

If you could erase one memory, would you? Which one?

I’ve been mulling this over for quite some time. And every time I think about it, I always come back to the same answer: no. I wouldn’t erase one single one. Not even an iota.

It might sound weird since I’ve had a lot of tragedy in my life, but those moments, as painful as they were, are threaded into every fiber of my being. If I were to pull one thread, I don’t know what would unravel with it. Would I have the life that I’m living right now? Would I be here blogging and sharing my personal thoughts with you all? Would you be blogging if things were different?

I think about all the good things in my life… and I know with a certainty, I wouldn’t appreciate them the way I do if I didn’t have to endure difficult and painful losses and delicate moments. And maybe that’s why I try to live my life to the max because I know what loss is and I realize that one day it will all end.


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22 responses to “amor fati”

  1. Nicholas K F Matte Avatar

    No no no lol! Not me, I could of lived without certain experiences!!! Lololololololol!!!! BUT! Over time…..I know I may stand tall and firm with —laughter— as a creative reaction to my yuk moments of embarrassment! You are ahead of me in intelligence and understanding where this one is concerned, lol😄

    1. justrojie Avatar

      hah idk what i would be like if i didn’t live the life i’ve already lived… would it be better? would it be worse?i know i can continue to work on my life, the one i have now to make it even better.

  2. Yankee Doodle Avatar

    Erase? Nope. Nothing.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      🙂

      1. Yankee Doodle Avatar
        1. justrojie Avatar

          bruh, i’m hella hungry rn lol

          1. Yankee Doodle Avatar

            You know what to do.

          2. justrojie Avatar

            lol it’s unfortunately diet time at night

          3. Yankee Doodle Avatar

            Gay. Your diet sucks. Get a better one. 🙂

          4. justrojie Avatar

            LOL!! no one’s finna want me otherwise

          5. Yankee Doodle Avatar

            I rather doubt that. There’s people for everyone. Except the Pope.

          6. justrojie Avatar

            i think men have it easier than women

          7. Yankee Doodle Avatar

            No doubt.

            That’s broadly true. And that sucks.

            But what I’m telling you is there’s a subculture for everything. There’s whole sites and movements specifically for women’s overeating, weight gain, etc being attractive.

            I also think the whole “nobody wants a fat girl” trope is tragically overrepresented in media and not as true in real life. Fat doesn’t stop women from getting married. Most of my friends have fat wives. A few of them like them that way.

            Besides. The more unapologetically well fed women there are. The less power diet culture has. IF one believes that’s a problem.

            But. I’m off my soapbox.

          8. justrojie Avatar

            Hmm food for thought 🍣

          9. Yankee Doodle Avatar

            Don’t be ashamed to get second helpings. No need to starve.

          10. justrojie Avatar

            cept the pope

  3. Hazel Avatar

    Exactly, Rojie. I won’t either. All my life experiences are part of me, and shape who I am now. Beautiful answer.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      thank you, Hazel!!

      1. Hazel Avatar

        My pleasure always!

  4. Ajinkya Rane Avatar

    Agreed 💯

  5. Vijay Srivastava Avatar

    Some memories wound us deeply… yet they also shape the way we love, value, and understand life. Perhaps healing is not in erasing the past, but in learning how to carry it with grace. Beautifully written.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      thank you, Vijay!

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