LINK: low to high key
Sitting in my drafts since September 10, 2025.
Preface: 겉과 속이 다르다 (the outside and inside are different)
I ran into Foofie twice at two different funerals for mutual friends. NGL, it was awkward. We nodded, made brief eye contact for a moment, and I would stare straight ahead. I could feel him looking at me every so often but I acted like I didn’t notice or care. Since we broke up, he has gone through many girlfriends and now he looks worn down and defeated, a shell of a man.
Then there’s Big Bang. I haven’t seen him in years, and the chances of us crossing paths again are slim. He lives in D.C. (the last I heard which was a while ago) but once in a blue moon, I’ll catch myself daydreaming about what it would be like if we did. A random airport run-in, a wedding, a concert, a bookstore. It probably wouldn’t happen. But still… what if?
I tell myself I’d look unbothered if I saw him, like I always do. Maybe throw out a polite “Hey, long time no see,” with a smile that doesn’t reach all the way. And if I’m feeling extra brave, a “Hope you’re doing well.”
When I’ve bumped into my exes, I usually play it cool. No biggie, right? I act like I’ve moved on but in reality, I haven’t. Well, some more than others (I’m long over the Foofster).
Enter my outside song, “Sorry I’m Here for Someone Else”.
I’m sorry I’m here for someone elseIt’s good to see your faceAnd I really hope you’re doing wellI hope you’re doing well
But inside, I would want to scream. Here I am standing in front of someone who used to mean everything to me and then to turn around and pretend that I barely remember how he took his coffee, how I memorized how he looked naked, or the way he would squeeze my hand so tightly whenever we walked around Georgetown…
The song running through my core would be, “happier” by Olivia Rodrigo.
Oh, I hope you’re happyBut not like how you were with meI’m selfish, I know, I can’t let you goSo find someone great, but don’t find no one betterI hope you’re happy, but don’t be happier
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