do this and that

LINK: do this and that

Currently listening to: Who Knew – P!NK

When someone said count your blessings now
‘Fore they’re long gone
I guess I just didn’t know how
I was all wrong
But they knew better, still you said forever, and ever
Who knew?
(Yeah, yeah)

What roles did your parent(s) have in your upbringing?

My parents had overlapping roles when it came to raising my brother and me. If one wasn’t available, the other stepped in.

My mom did most of the cooking, but my dad cooked meals for us when she was sleeping or at work. His meals were more simple and less elaborate but it did the job. Fried rice, instant ramen, or heating up leftovers. It was enough to fill our bellies and be satisfied.

My mom was more into the arts where my dad gravitated towards math and science. It tracks, since he was a mechanical engineer. Whenever I’d come home from school, I’d find math worksheets that he created waiting for me. I hated the “extra” homework but it did propel me to take more AP math and science classes in high school than my peers. By the time my brother went to high school, I think my parents ran out of energy for that level of hands-on involvement, because he was sent to Kumon instead.

Religion and learning Korean were shared responsibilities. Every Sunday without fail, we went to church unless I was sick, in which case my mom stayed home with me because she didn’t drive on the freeways. Church also doubled as Korean school, two birds, one stone kinda thing. At home, we only spoke Korean. Over time, as my brother and I hit high school, it became Konglish (Korean + English combo).

My mom handled our health, dragging us to all of our appointments. Pediatrician, dentist, orthodontist, and etc. One memory that I recall was when I was a kid and the nurse was trying to draw my blood. She jabbed me six times and still couldn’t get a sample. My mom finally snapped, and furious on my behalf, grabbed me and we left before I could get poked again. My veins are deep and they roll, so I know it’s a nightmare for nurses and phlebotomists.

My parents were both the disciplinarians, but I got the brunt of it from my mom more than my dad. Both were strict and held high expectations for my brother and I. They would grab whatever was nearby and hit us with it. I remember one instance, my mom hurled an acrylic box at me in a fit of anger and the box cracked on impact. Another instance was when I snuck home after an all-nighter with friends, only to find my mom waiting in the living room with the lights off waiting for me. I was caught red-handed. I endured two hours of her screaming into my face, she ripped my t-shirt, and bitch slapped me multiple times (on the face). Meanwhile, there was my dad with his bamboo stick that he’d use to hit us with when we were kids One day, my brother was getting into trouble so I hid the stick behind my brother’s dresser, thinking that I had won and that we wouldn’t get hit anymore. Well, that backfired because it made him even angrier cause he couldn’t find the bamboo stick so he improvised with a plastic clothes hanger. And because I hid the stick, my brother and I both got a beating with the clothes hanger. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. My parents are resourceful and will find alternatives.

My dad was the one who taught me about money. Finances, taxes, saving, investing, and why it all mattered. I thought this should have been taught in school, but they didn’t. I didn’t fully appreciate all the life lessons that my dad taught me until I hit adulthood.