LINK: i need advice…
We’re all adults here, right? With that being said, I’m spilling the tea because I need some advice.
This is going to be long-winded post but I want to give you context to the ordeal.
I have a mutual acquaintance through my friend group. I met Kathy through other ARMY (BTS fandom) friends, Andrea and Linda. They knew Maggie and I were going to see BLACKPINK, last summer, and thought it would make sense for us to carpool since we were going to the same concert.
Kathy only materializes when there’s an event happening. She doesn’t make an effort to really get to know anyone. No texts or hanging out otherwise. If there’s something in it for her, she’s there. To be fair, she did offer to pay me for carpooling to the concert, but I declined at the time since we were all headed to the same place and she drove to my house anyway.
When we were collecting BTS TinyTans, she joined in but was constantly bombarding us with texts about the ones she was missing. If she had doubles, she didn’t bother to let us know or share.
When the rest of us were talking about going to see the BTS movies, she invited herself. She wasn’t in our conversations, she just asked which day we were gonna go see the movie and where and then said that she would see us there.
Later on, I heard from Linda that Kathy found out that a coworker and her boyfriend were going to San Diego and staying at an Airbnb, and somehow she managed to invite herself along. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Fast forward to this week.
Kathy found out that we got a suite for the BTS concert on 9/1. IDK how she found out but it wasn’t from me. Because of that, she decided not to by tickets for the 9/6 concert. She said that she didn’t wanna pay suite prices on 9/1 since she was going solo, so she opted for a cheaper ticket. Since then, she’s been bugging Andrea, Linda, and me about carpooling.
I told her I wasn’t sure because our group already has ten people and only two parking passes. Plus, I’m not the one handling rides anyway. She knew that Andrea and Linda were in my group, yet she kept texting them anyway. Linda said the same (“not my call”) and Andrea ghosted her.
We told Maggie and Alyssa what was going on so that we would all be on the same page.
Maggie, who barely knows Kathy (met her twice), said she would feel guilty if something happened to her, like if she got kidnapped or assaulted, and that if her own daughter were going to a concert alone, she’d feel bad.
First off, Kathy is not a child. She’s a full grown woman, much older than me, with a daughter in high school. Alyssa is organizing everything and Kathy only met her once. And that one interaction that Alyssa had with her… well let’s say that Alyssa didn’t get a good vibe from her.
We weren’t going to eat beforehand either because the suite comes with catered food and liquor. At most, I could see us meeting Kathy at the parking lot and walking into the venue together. But she would not be able to come into the suite. That wouldn’t be fair to the people who paid a lot fo money, and there’s a capacity limit. She also needs her own ticket to get through security and even reach the suite area.
That should be the hard stop. But knowing Kathy, I worry that it won’t be. I can already picture her saying, “Oh, let me just see,” or “Can I use your bathroom in the suite?” and then asking for screenshots of our tickets to try to get in. I don’t want it to even remotely get that far, and neither does Maggie. But the thing about Maggie is that she has a really hard time saying no. I’ve dubbed her as Saint Maggie.
Now I’m feeling guilty because Maggie keeps saying that not inviting Kathy to carpool, and essentially having her go alone since she only bought one ticket, isn’t very ARMY behavior. That we should be kinder.
I’m not Mother Theresa. I’ll leave that to Maggie. But I did feel bad saying no, even though I wasn’t the only one. In fact, everyone else agreed, except her.
And now Andrea and Linda regret introducing Kathy to us.
So my question is this:
What should I do?
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