telepathy

LINK: telepathy

Currently listening to: Alive – The Rose

Lately
My whole world feels like it’s shaking
Everything is faded, changing
I don’t care they call me crazy

When do you feel most connected to others?

I guess there are different instances:

At work, I have five assistants, and I am closest with two of them. One is Vietnamese, the other is Korean. They anticipate what I need before I even say a word. We’ve worked together for years, they’ve grown accustomed to my habits and thought process. They understand my problem solving technique and my desire to put the patients first, that we will do whatever it takes to the best of our capabilities. A pause in my voice, a certain choice of words, or even saying “hmm” is enough. They already know where the conversation is heading.

With a partner, my connection is obviously different. I need both mental and physical chemistry. My mind and body need to be stimulated. I like good looking men, I’m NGL about that. Tall, deep voice, nice hands, good smile, fit, and the way he carries himself. Yeah. I don’t care if that’s being shallow, I’m being honest. He also can’t be a misogynist, an asshat or dumber than a bag of rocks. He’s gotta have rizz. I need someone who can challenge me, make me do mental hurdles.

And yes, physical intimacy matters to. If there’s no chemistry, no spark, then it’s DOA from the get go. He has to know what he’s doing. Periodt. I pay attention to people and their needs all day long. Can he do the same… for me? Read my body like he’s been studying it for years and about to write a 300 page dissertation. If the sex is lazy, selfish, or boring, I’m out. I’m not asking it to be like Cirque Du Soleil by any means either. But if it’s not good, what am I doing there? What are we even doing?

With my friends, there’s always a thread that ties us together. But the overall theme is that we can sit in the same room in silence, no pressure, just vibing. Phones are down, music is low, and we’re enjoying each other’s presence. No judgment and no one is keeping tabs.

We also laugh often, to the point where we are in tears. That’s when the walls get knocked down. They give me comfort and make me feel safe. Most of my friends are extroverted, adventurous, and always chasing after the next big thing. They pull me out of my shell, make me feel alive, and I’m out there doing things I wouldn’t normally do on my own. I love it… even though they drain my social battery with a quickness. They know that there are times when I need a time out and they’re okay with that. They don’t take it personally, which helps because I don’t feel as bad when I go MIA for a bit.