LINK: awkward af
I got to dance class about ten minutes early—because that’s just how I am. I like being early. I hate the feeling of rushing or walking into a room already in motion.
Most of the people there seemed to already know one another. I, on the other hand, didn’t know anyone. It’s been a minute since I’ve gone to any classes, so I just stood there quietly, texting my friends.
Then out nowhere, this very cheerful woman with a thick Hispanic accent came up to me. She introduced herself to me and within minutes, she’d told me her entire life story. How she had multiple homes, her mother passing away recently, her son needing medical help for a condition, going to Machu Picchu and eating guinea pigs, and all her travels.
She smiled brightly and said that I had a very friendly face. I laughed a little. I try. At work, especially during meetings, I have major RBF (resting bitch face), but when I’m with patients or colleagues I actually like, I make a conscious effort to smile more .
Then she started with what felt like fifty rapid-fire questions. I barely had time to blink before she was onto the next one.
- where do you live?
- are you married?
- do you have children?
- who do you live with?
- is your mom in her late 50’s?
- are you a doctor? You have a doctor face.
- do you work at XYZ hospital?
- do you speak Spanish?
- do you have Instagram?
- Do you have Tiktok?
Whoah, whoah, whoah… there. Take it Eazy-E. I didn’t know her but NGL, I felt suspicious. Even though this class was sponsored by the HOA and everyone there was technically my neighbor, I couldn’t shake the uneasiness. Maybe she was just being friendly, maybe overly curious by nature, but the world is full of unsavory people. I’m sure watching all these true crime docs don’t help but I’ve had plenty of patients who were convicts and former felons (murderers, sex traffickers, and chomos). So I kept my answers vague, which seemed to frustrate her.
I had to leave class a little early because I had work to finish at home. I told her goodbye and said I’d see her next week. She looked at me like I was harassing her and she responded that she would be traveling, even though earlier she told me she was excited to see me again next week. I just shrugged, smiled, and wished her a good night.
I know I can be awkward sometimes. I have a hard time making new friends, especially if they are not in health care. If it weren’t for the people in my life reaching out to me first, I’d probably just drift into the abyss. It’s not that I don’t want to connect with others… I sincerely do… but I don’t know what my problem is… maybe it’s my self-esteem and self-doubt?
Luckily, people on WP here are supportive and accept me as I am. And for that, I’m truly grateful.
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