would you like to…

LINK: would you like to…

My friends and I got Andrea presents and little cakes for her birthday. She was very touched by this. It seems like she’s used to not receiving much…

Andrea asked if I wanted to celebrate her birthday with her, which at first confused me and caught me off guard. She is married with adult children, so I just assumed she’d want to spend the day with her family.

Over dinner, she shared that she and her husband were high school sweethearts. They built a life together—got married, raised kids, and checked all the boxes. But over time, their love went from passion to practicality.

He complains about her weight and lack of exercise. She complains that he complains. It’s a never ending loop.

Her kids couldn’t make it down until the weekend, and she said she’d rather spend her birthday with me than sit across from her husband bickering with one another.

I made adjustments at my second job to accommodate going to dinner. I prepped the next day’s work (as much as I could) so I wouldn’t be up too late, and said yes to her dinner plans. My friends and I bought her cupcakes and gift cards.

Dinner was nice—we laughed, talked incessantly about work and K-pop, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. But as I watched her across the table, sipping her tea, smiling and laughing at our jokes, I couldn’t help but feel a bit sad for her.

It made me wonder if this is what happens to so many marriages. Instead of lovers, couples turn into roommates. From passion to partnership, butterflies to bickering, heart racing (almost tachycardia) to a dull hum. The soft glances, the unspoken electricity, the nights that felt like forever? Do they fade quietly, until all that’s left are shared bills, schedules, and the same arguments repeated year after year?

Le sigh.

I may sound naive and callow but I hope it’s not true. I don’t want to believe that passion expires. I want to believe love can still surprise, that touch can still thrill, that a glance across the room can make the stomach flip.

Because if it doesn’t… then what’s the point?