LINK: new romantics
Currently listening to: Naked and Sacred – Maria Nayler
You were the best but you were the worst
As sick as it sounds,What does love mean?
Can love last?
I ask myself these questions
Haunted by the past
I’ve walked these city streets
I’ve known victories and defeats
Serchin’, hopin’, just barely copin’
Baby, I want to be good for you
I want to be true
Don’t know how I’d live with myself
If I ever hurt youI loved you first
I was a dick, it is what it is
A habit to kick, the age-old curse
I tend to laugh whenever I’m sad
I stare at the crash, it actually works
Making amends, this shit never ends
I’m wrong again, wrong again
How much of a romantic are you?
Prompt snagged from: NY Times
It’s almost embarrassing to admit how much of a romantic I want to be. I’m Korean, after all. If you’ve ever seen a K-drama, you know that kinda romance I’m talking aboutāit’s not just flowers and candlelit dinners, but it’s those little moments. The way a man’s voice softens when he confesses something vulnerable. The way his eyes light up when the love interest enters the room. A lingering look before the elevator door closes. Le sigh…
The funny thing is, I have no idea how to actually be romantic myself. I know that I want it but to acquire it, I don’t know what to do. I didn’t grow up seeing it modeled as my parents had an arranged marriage. Their relationship was… pragmatic. No grand gestures, no love notes displayed, or date nights. It was the get married, have children, do their husband and wife duties, and work till they die. Sure, every now and then they’d playfully grab each other at the dinner table, which only made my brother and I want to vomit in our mouths, but there wasn’t anything remotely cinematic about it.
So here I am, not even sure what I’d do with a truly romantic man if he were to ever show up. I’ve built my life being self-sufficient to the point that I barely let anyone do anything for me beyond sex. And yet… there’s a part of me that secretly wants to be taken care of. I see my friends’ partners plan entire weekends for them, down to the last thoughtful detail and I think of how wonderful that must be. I’m here trudging along doing everything on my own, with my friends telling me that I’m so “strong” and “independent”. What I would give to not be that… albeit with the right person of course.
Instead, I find myself in these types of scenarios. The cat and mouse chase. Sometimes, I don’t know if I’m the cat or the mouse.
Deep down, I know those K-dramas are unrealistic but a girl can dream, can’t she? I think this is also another reason why I am so inclined to go to K-pop concerts because they know how to make a girl feel so fucking special. The eye contact, the words that come out of their mouths, and the overall vibe. Which is another reason why these K-pop artists aren’t allowed to have girlfriends or boyfriends because that would shatter the allure and energy of it all.
I, often, ask my friends and colleagues how they met their significant others. I love listening to their stories of their first encounters and what about that person made them believe that he or she was the one for them.
So tell me friends, how did you meet your other half?
Leave a Reply to Jesse PallanteCancel reply