LINK: seven male personalities
Currently listening to: The Man – Taylor Swift
I would be complex
I would be cool
They’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to
And that would be okay
For me to do
Every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you
Watching Taylor Swift transform into a man in this mv and acting like a douche bucket is everything.
What does it mean to be ‘a real man’?
Prompt snagged from: NY Times
According to the internet, there are seven types of male personalities. Out of sheer curiosity (and maybe a little boredom), I took one of those pop quizzes—but this time, I answered as if I were a Caucasian male. The results were… enlightening, to say the least.
Alpha Male – 12/20
Apparently I’d be one of those strong-willed, take-charge types. Charismatic, a little cocky, always ready to dominate the room. The classic “bad boy” energy that people either obsess over or absolutely can’t stand. I read the description and immediately thought: Zaddy vibes. You know the type—swagger, deep voice, slight smirk. I imagine I’d have a decent jawline and a strong cologne game.
Sigma Male – 12/20
Basically the alpha’s mysterious cousin. Confident, lowkey, doesn’t care about power plays or being in the spotlight but somehow still ends up being the one people listen to. He’s the guy who dips out of the party early but still ends up in everyone’s stories. The whole “lone wolf but still magnetic” type. I get it. I vibe with it.
Gamma Male – 10/20
The fun one. The creative, slightly chaotic adventurer. Definitely has passport stamps, playlists for every mood, and makes friends with random people in airport lounges. Honestly, this is probably how I already live—just in a more femme, Gemini-forward way.
Beta & Delta – 8/20 each
Sweet, dependable, good-natured types. Beta is the romantic, Delta is the get-shit-done, unsung hero. I’d like to think I embody both in real life—emotionally intuitive with the ability to execute a color-coded Google Calendar.
Omega Male – 5/20
The weirdo genius. Quirky, awkward, introverted… but somehow ends up changing the world from their bedroom in sweatpants. It’s giving tech bro before the IPO. I admire them, but I also feel like I’d ghost them on Hinge.
Zeta Male – 0/20
Nada. Which, according to the description, makes sense. Zetas are the full-on rebels. Think artists who run off into the woods to paint nudes and write manifestos. I’m not sure I’m that far gone… yet.
If I were a white man, I’d probably be insufferable. Like, full-on ego trip. I’d be flirting with all sorts of beautiful people and somehow still pulling them. I’d weaponize my confidence, tip in crypto, and think I’m deep for reading Bukowski.
It’s almost too easy to imagine. Which makes me think, maybe it’s a blessing I’m an introvert Korean woman with a deeply ingrained sense of nuance and social awareness. Maybe the universe knew I’d be too powerful otherwise. LOL.
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