the one

Currently listening to: Lose My Mind – Don Toliver feat. Doja Cat

I don’t wanna lose my mind
I don’t wanna lose myself
Tell me if I crossed a line
I ain’t tryin’ to hurt myself
Didn’t want to call your name
Only got myself to blame, oh, yeah
In my world, in my mind, always runnin’ out of time
In my love, in my heart, you’re the only kryptonite
But I
But I wait for you, still I wait for you

Prompt snagged from: Day One

Most of my patients came in either in the middle of a panic attack or teetering on the edge of one. The tension in the air is thick. It’s not just LA; there are reports of raids and disruptions across Southern California, hitting counties left and right. The fear is real, people are scared, especially amongst minorities. 

Instead of focusing on physical symptoms, I ended up becoming a makeshift therapist for most of the shift. Patients needed to talk and let it out. So I listened. I gave them a safe space to share what they’re feeling—fear, uncertainty, confusion—and I did my best to validate those emotions and offer as many resources and support I could.

Story after story, patient after patient, it felt eerily familiar—like those early pandemic days when no one really knew what was happening, but everyone felt the weight of it. Only this time, it’s not a virus. It’s a psychological and emotional strain. It’s creating a clusterfuck of emotions. That’s the only way I can really describe it.

During my break, I got a text from Five Star about KCON in August. She said she might be able to get us VIP tickets through some of her connections. And honestly, I needed that… 

A few hours later, she called and asked if I could join her for the F1: The Movie screening. I’ve gone to those kinds of industry screenings before—sometimes they’re held at private theaters where there’s no food allowed inside, but afterwards there’s a full buffet spread and everyone mingles: actors, directors, critics, producers. Other times, it’s at a regular movie theater, but you get a food voucher and can order whatever you want. Either way, it’s a cool experience.

At first, I wasn’t that interested in the movie. I mean, Formula One racing isn’t really my thing. But then Nico mentioned it a while back, so I watched the trailer… and okay, I’ll admit it, it looked pretty badass. I don’t know anything about racing, but with Brad Pitt and Javier Bardem leading and Top Gun: Maverick’s director at the helm, I figured it could be one of those movies that surprises me. I didn’t expect to like Maverick as much as I did either. I’m not the biggest Tom Cruise fan, but that movie slapped.

Anyway, I ended up not going. I only had an hour’s notice, as her plus-one spot came through last minute, and there just wasn’t enough time. I was still in my scrubs, no chance to drive home, shower, and look presentable. I was bummed. But I reminded myself—this is a first world problem. There are bigger things happening right now. Still, a little FOMO is allowed, right?