Currently listening to: Freedom! ’90 – George Michael
I love the Pitch Perfect a cappella version of this song as well.
Freedom (I won’t let you down)
Freedom (I will not give you up)
Freedom (Gotta have some faith in the sound)
You’ve got to give what you take (It’s the one good thing that I’ve got)
Freedom (I won’t let you down)
Freedom (So please don’t give me up)
Freedom (‘Cause I would really)
You’ve got to give what you take (really love to stick around)
Iba and I had an interesting back and forth in my comments on the post big no no about the future and how that would look like.
TBH, I don’t care about someone’s relationship status. Whether you’re single, married, divorced, poly, or in a situationship-it won’t influence how I treat you. But I do think there’s something interesting about how much people expect from their partners these days. Like… do I want a lover or an entire support system wrapped in one person? A therapist, a cheerleader, a best friend, a lover, a financial partner, a co-parent, a travel buddy, a soulmate, and someone who folds laundry just the way I like it?
That’s a lot to place on one person’s shoulders. Maybe too much. Maybe that’s where a lot of the disappointment and then indifference creeps in. Here I am trying to squeeze 12 roles into one human being, and then wonder why it cracks under pressure and doesn’t work out.
But on the flip side, if I tried to ease up on those expectations—would that create more freedom and grace? Or would it lead to more jealousy, insecurity, bitterness, and toxicity? IDK but it’s worth questioning.
People are finding different ways to redefine commitment and love:
Throuples-romantic triads where all three people are equally involved and live together, exclusive only to one another. Not swinging. Not cheating. Just… three people choosing to be with one another.
Lavender marriage-traditionally between a gay man and a straight woman, often rooted in social expectation or mutual protection. Sometimes it’s about appearances. Sometimes finances. Sometimes it’s just survival. It’s complex. I saw the trailer for “The Wedding Banquet” and it made me think.
Polyamory-consensual, ethical? non-monogamy. It’s not always about sex, sometimes it’s just emotional openness. Like Ne-Yo being openly poly with his four girlfriends. For some people, it works.
Arranged marriage-it’s the path my parents took. They were set up by their parents and extended family, as was customary. They barely knew each other before they got married. There were no long phone calls, no late-night confessions, no “getting to know you” phase. They said yes not because they were in love, but because it was expected. It was tradition, a practice rooted deep into our culture spanning for centuries. It was their duty. Love was a luxury, not a requirement… even so, my parents eventually grew to love one another.
There’s also the traditional marriage. I still think there’s something beautiful about choosing one person and growing old with them. But I think it’s fair to wonder if one of the reasons why divorce is so common is because we’re sticking to frameworks that no longer fit the complexities of modern life and connection?
At the end of the day, people are going to do what works for them.
Thoughts?
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