money, power, and respect NSFW

I’ve always been the type of person who keeps their financial business private. I never ask men about their income, mainly because I believe it’s their personal business. To be honest, I couldn’t care less how much someone makes. It’s irrelevant to me unless it affects the dynamic between us, and even then, I’m not inclined to pry. But what really gets under my skin is when men ask me how much money I make. I’m always taken aback, but my go-to response is usually something like, “It’s enough for me.”

Then, of course, they’ll ask, “Is it more than me?” And I just smile and say, “Maybe? Honestly, I don’t know how much you make, nor do I care.” But the curiosity lingers, and they’ll go ahead and share their salary anyway, often with an unspoken desire for comparison. I feel a strange sense of obligation to either confirm or deny their question, which seems to open up a Pandora’s box. If I say no, there’s this wave of relief that passes over them, like they’re somehow validated. But when I say yes, it’s as though I’ve just drained the very essence of their masculinity. The air changes, and suddenly they become more… fragile.

It reminds me of something from my childhood. There was a time when my mom was making more money than my dad, and it clearly affected him in ways I didn’t understand at the time. He would make little snide comments, but it wasn’t until I got older that my mother pointed out the tension. It became clear that his pride was wounded, and he wasn’t really comfortable with her earning more. When the situation reversed and my dad made more money than my mom, it was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He seemed much happier and more confident, which just goes to show how much of an impact these things can have on someone’s sense of self-worth.

The whole money dynamic can be so tricky, especially when there are unspoken expectations or insecurities tied to it. How do you deal with it?

I had put a warning for NSFW (not safe for work) because of the sexual video content.


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43 responses to “money, power, and respect NSFW”

  1. Hazel Avatar

    Society expects that men earn more than women; that’s why it affects their self-worth, as I observed. You encounter men who go beyond boundaries, in my opinion.

    Hugs, Hyun Sook.😊

    1. justrojie Avatar

      When people lack in one dept, they sometimes have abundance in other things. We can’t be everything but we don’t have to be a bag of dicks 😆

      1. Hazel Avatar

        Very funny🤭 it’s very direct, but it’s so true.

  2. April Avatar

    one of my aunt who was finding a match for herself – due to her high salary faced lots of no’s! 🙃 she stayed unmarried for good and now is the VP at the company. my mom and all maternal figures have said to me – that doesn’t matter how modern our society gets (especially here) the mindset of a man…his pursuit to help and be on top of the things…if wounded will set stuff on fire. his ego is there…always! it is such a tricky thing…so far, in dating zone for me – no men were so interested in money neither I asked…but maybe, if things are on serious side…that is a worth topic to speak…even parents will be hell bent on knowing how much he makes…( No matter what I make) A man of the house should be a man as they say here…😅

    1. justrojie Avatar

      If I were a dude I’d be proud if my partner made more money. It would motivate me to make more. But that’s just me.

    2. Goin' the extra...aaamile Avatar

      India is a shit place to live in, but I guess most of us don’t have opportunities to migrate and re-start our lives.

      1. justrojie Avatar

        It’s tough. Are there some parts of India that’s better than others? Or is it only for the wealthy?

        1. Goin' the extra...aaamile Avatar

          I guess a country like India accommodates everyone, it’s just the system we live in… Yes some states are better – I live atleast in one of the better ones, I’d like to believe. That said, people make best use of what’s available and go through life.

          Quality of life has been on a rapid decline….

          1. justrojie Avatar

            It has. People want more and more and are never satisfied, unfortunately I fall into this too

  3. Goin' the extra...aaamile Avatar

    Men are dicks, atleast the married ones are…what’s in money? U earn or I earn more…wth! That shouldn’t be the criteria, a happy home, family and a relationship should be far more important. It’s sickening how men act sometimes…I’m not married but I’ve noticed it a lot in married dicks, their wives are my friends (ex classmates/colleagues)
    These days so many unhappy marriages, everyone’s after money and sex…nothing else…oh yea and luxury lifestyles too.
    It’s a curse living in today’s world.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      I say do what makes you happy. Because if you’re not happy then it’s not worth it.

      1. Goin' the extra...aaamile Avatar

        Gosh! You summarised it perfectly!

        1. justrojie Avatar

          Thank you!!

  4. Swamigalkodi Astrology Avatar
    1. justrojie Avatar

      Thank you!!

  5. Nicholas K F Matte Avatar

    Oh my God Ali’s GREAT!!!!!

    1. justrojie Avatar

      😂 yeah she’s hilarious

  6. Michael Williams Avatar

    there’s no type of blues quite like the late stage capitalism blues :/ Mike

    1. justrojie Avatar

      So true

  7. Prog2Goal Avatar

    I honestly could care less. I think that the financial questions really suck the soul out of a relationship. The only time that my pride gets hurt is if I go to see a band where the bass player is better than me. 🙃

    1. justrojie Avatar

      😆 good answer

  8. Violet Lentz Avatar

    I have never made enough to sway anyone’s viewpoint, so I’ll just take your word for it on this one.

  9. Jesse Pallante Avatar

    That is so true. You never ask a person how much money they make. That’s their private business, not yours. Men making less than women. It is all good. It is how good you people get along, that should matter more. I think and how well you complement each other in your endeavors that matters.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      that’s what i’m sayin!

  10. Jesse Pallante Avatar

    Yes definitely

  11. ibarynt Avatar

    Money is always a slippery slope not just in relationships but between friends and family too…

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Ugh I hate it

  12. McLaren Vale Avatar

    It may seems a bit close off but you’re just trying to protect your peace isn’t

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Exactly!

  13. Maddie Cochere Avatar

    Men must be so insecure these days! I can’t imagine talking salaries and income with a man. I made more money than my husband when we married, but that quickly turned around. It didn’t matter to either of us who was making what as long as we made the house payment.

    You are right to keep your finances “close to the vest.”

    1. justrojie Avatar

      I wouldn’t mind either way who makes more but I guess it’s an ego thing maybe?

      1. Maddie Cochere Avatar

        It has to be!

  14. McLaren Vale Avatar

    All is well baby 🐥

    1. justrojie Avatar

      thanks!!

      1. McLaren Vale Avatar

        Please I’ve feelings on you can we chat private here I’m thinking isn’t safe what do you see!!

        1. justrojie Avatar

          I’m not sure I understand

          1. McLaren Vale Avatar

            Yup 👍

          2. McLaren Vale Avatar

            Oh my bad 😞 what I was saying is that can you give your zangi number so that I’ll add you up, so we can be chatting right

          3. justrojie Avatar

            sorry i don’t have zangi

          4. McLaren Vale Avatar

            What a surprise 🫢 word I don’t see that coming

          5. McLaren Vale Avatar

            ??

  15. McLaren Vale Avatar

    What is has to be please explain in details

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