maria, maria

Preface: major stan

Sunday was supposed to be all about good vibes and celebration. Our whole crew had plans to meet up for lunch before heading to J-Hope’s (BTS member) solo concert in Koreatown. It felt like a mini holiday—everyone buzzing with excitement, dressed cute, energy high. We met at Yangmani for K-BBQ around 1500, and that’s when I noticed something was off with Maria.

She wasn’t eating. At first, I assumed maybe she wasn’t into Korean food. I even tried putting food on her plate, hoping she’d nibble on something, but she barely touched anything. I brushed it off, thinking maybe she was just shy—after all, it was her first time meeting some of the girls. Maybe nerves? But I should’ve listened to my gut.

After lunch, we headed back to her place to park before walking over to the venue. Our seats were up several flights of stairs, and once we settled in, she turned to me and quietly said she wasn’t feeling well. I asked how long she had felt like this, and she said since 1400 PM. She described pressure in her chest, and immediately I ran through a mental checklist—MI (myocardial infarction)? Asthma exacerbation? Hypoglycemia? But I didn’t have my gear on me, and my Apple watch was dead after clocking over 20,000 steps that day. I reached over to touch her, noticed she was clammy, and scooted over to give her air. That’s when she asked me to sit closer.

I couldn’t ignore the red flags. I told her we needed to get her evaluated at the First Aid office. She was adamantly against it. “No, we’re here. We’ve waited so long for this concert. I don’t want you to miss the concert either.” I tried to reason with her, told her it could be nothing, but I didn’t want to take any chances. Still, she refused. So I texted our friend Maggie—who’s also a healthcare professional—and asked her to help me talk Maria into getting checked. Maybe it’s because I’m the youngest in the group, or maybe people just think I’m “too chill,” but I swear sometimes I don’t get taken seriously. That said, Maggie had the magic touch. Somehow she convinced her, and we escorted Maria to the First Aid tent.

Paramedics put on the EKG leads, and sure enough—she was throwing PVCs (premature ventricular contractions). I asked the basics: caffeine? alcohol? Both were a no. Inhaler? She had left it at home. She mentioned she was on a new injectable medication for her severe asthma but didn’t know the name. She said ever since the shot, she felt off.

I gave the medics her background and explained everything. They recommended transporting her to the hospital. She refused. Again. They had her sign an AMA form because they didn’t want the liability. Maggie and I weren’t about to let her go back into the concert venue, though. If she wouldn’t take an ambulance, her husband would have to come get her and then take her to the hospital. When they wheeled her out, she got up from the chair and walked straight to his car like nothing happened. I told her to call or text me with any updates. She promised she would.

By the end of the concert, she called me to say her husband would pick us up so we wouldn’t walk around LA in the dark. I told her we were fine—there were plenty of us—but she insisted, then hung up. We waited on the corner, but couldn’t see him. I called again and told her we were just going to walk. That’s when we heard him yelling our names—he had been waiting on the street, not the parking lot.

I asked him what the ED docs said. He admitted they never went. She told him that she was feeling better, that the pressure was gone, and she didn’t feel clammy anymore. I sighed, frustrated but relieved she seemed okay. She said she was going to rest and call out sick the next day.

Fast forward to Monday—I’d been texting to check on her. She said she felt good and even wanted to go to The Rose concert in August. I told her I’d go with her, no question. She said she’d swing by my workstation tomorrow so that we could buy tickets together.

Later, while I was working and away from my phone, I noticed a missed call and a text: “Call me.” I called Maria back immediately. Her husband answered.

My heart dropped.

He told me that Maria had gone to her doctor’s appointment at 1600, who immediately sent her to the ED because she was STILL experiencing chest pain. The doctors now suspected she may have had a heart attack and wanted to keep her overnight for more tests. Fucking shit.

My whole body went cold. I kept thinking—we should have gotten her to the hospital last night. I get it, she’s stubborn. But still. I’m just grateful she’s finally getting checked out properly. She’s been texting me selfies from the hospital bed so I know she’s in good hands. She texted me and Maggie, thanked us for our help and that things could have been worse if we didn’t intervene. Her husband promised to keep me updated. I offered to drive to the hospital and stay with her but they declined for now.

I’m wondering if there was anything else I could have said or done to convince her to go get help earlier. I also feel guilty for staying at the concert instead of going back with her to her house to make sure she went to the hospital.

I’ll write about the concert another day because TBH, I’m not in the mood for it today.


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26 responses to “maria, maria”

  1. Nicholas K F Matte Avatar

    Wow!!! What a night!!! I hope your friend makes a full recovery!!!

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Me toooo

  2. Jesse Pallante Avatar

    You did the right thing, if she had a heart attack, you saved her life by intervening and getting her help. Good job.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Thanks Jesse! I just wished she would have gone to the hospital right away instead of waiting…

      1. Jesse Pallante Avatar

        Hopefully she is all right. You did everything you could have done. You did awesome.

        1. justrojie Avatar

          Thanks, Jesse

  3. Sara Allwright Avatar

    You did everything you could possibly do – I hope Maria is ok!

    1. justrojie Avatar

      I hope so, I’m waiting to hear back from her but don’t wanna bombard her and stress her out either

      1. Sara Allwright Avatar

        You’ve been, and are a wonderful, kind friend to Maria. She’s in good hands!

  4. Violet Lentz Avatar

    What an experience. Poor Maria. Do make sure to let us know how it all works out.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Will do!

  5. April Avatar

    omg! I got so anxious reading this (such stuff scare me and honestly made me feel emotional…) I often think who would help me if something of such sort happens to me…and to someone else…lol..

    …such events happening IRL really test us, don’t they…

    She has a great friend in you! don’t feel guilty at all…you are the best! ♥️♥️

    I also get why you ain’t in a mood to do concert review…such things become so paramount! because that’s the intensity they had…

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Thank you!! I’ll write about the concert when I know she’s home. But man, this def was not what we all expected or wanted to happen. I just feel so badly that she had to go through all that.

  6. M. Avatar

    Oh man….what a turn this took

    1. justrojie Avatar

      I know!!! 🥺

  7. Marvellous Avatar

    Wow, this is a lot for a concert day. I’m glad your friend’s feeling better now.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Yeah glad she’s in the hospital!

      1. Marvellous Avatar

        This can be interpreted in different ways😂

        ignore the comment below

  8. ibarynt Avatar

    Oh my gosh, that came out of nowhere. Hopefully nothing more serious and she recovers well.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Yeah they I’m waiting to hear back from her for an update 😬

  9. ibarynt Avatar

    Sending her best wishes too

  10. Maddie Cochere Avatar

    I’m so sorry this happened. I think you handled everything perfectly. As lovely as Maria may be, people are stubborn. The paramedics wanted to take her to the hospital, but she signed a form saying she wouldn’t go. There’s nothing you could do about that. Her husband wasn’t able to make her go … until she had to and was willing.

    I’m glad you got to see some (all) of your concert. You did the right thing, and Maria is alive and getting care. Forcing her to be checked out at the venue may be the one thing that sent her off to the ER later on. No guilt, Rojie.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Thanks, Maddie. I keep thinking that something more coulda been done. I just hate seeing people in pain or distress…

  11. JAM Avatar

    Sending love and speedy recovery🙏🏻 I agree with others in the comments. You did everything you could do. We can only help those we want to help themselves. I don’t like seeing people in pain or stress too but if they refuse help what can you do. Updates are now needed iam invested🙏🏻❤️‍🔥

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Thank you!! Will update everyone soon!

  12. Marvellous Avatar

    This can be interpreted in different ways😂

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