LINK: given
Currently listening to: get him back! – Olivia Rodrigo
I wanna key his car (I want to get him back)
I wanna make him lunch (but then I, I want to get him back)
I wanna break his heart (but then I, I want to get him back)
And be the one to stitch it up (but then I, I want to get him back)
Wanna kiss his face (but then I, I want to get him back)
With an uppercut (but then I, I want to get him back)
I wanna meet his mom (but then I, I want to get him back)
Just to tell her her son sucks (but then I, I want to get him back)
Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received.
I’ve already answered this in previous posts:
Is there a part of your personality that you try to suppress?
Snagged prompt from TCMC
For me, it’s my hunger for sex—not just the act itself, but the slow, electrifying build-up.
I don’t want that to be the first thing people see when they look at me, so I keep it contained. I avoid eye contact when I feel that pull. I downplay my own cravings because I don’t want them to define me.
I’ve been with men who should have set my body on fire, yet I felt nothing. Because for me, attraction is more than just physical—it’s energy. It’s the way someone looks at me with desire, how they carry themselves, the unspoken confidence that makes me lean in rather than pull away. I need to be finessed, I need the right vibe.
There have been plenty of times when Zaddy would initiate intimacy, but I just wasn’t in the right headspace. The vibe was off, and no matter how much he tried, I couldn’t force myself to feel something that wasn’t there in the moment. His frustration would start to show—sometimes through guilt trips, other times through quiet irritation—which only pushed me further away.
After he dropped me off at my car, the texts would start—angry, cutting, meant to make me feel bad. But instead of engaging, I’d turn my phone off, giving myself space to breathe. I needed time to process, to collect my thoughts, and to handle the situation with a clear mind. The last thing I wanted was to react out of frustration and say something I’d regret later.
But I resist. A lot. I overthink. I hesitate. I analyze everything. My own mind is my biggest cockblock, always one step ahead, whispering doubts, and making me too aware of myself.
And that’s where alcohol comes in. A drink or two is like a switch, dulling the noise, softening the edges. It quiets the overthinking and lets me live in the moment. My body becomes more responsive, my guard lowers, my inhibitions slip away in a haze of warmth and confidence. I stop worrying about whether I’m doing too much or not enough, whether I should make the first move or wait for him to close the gap. I can see why alcohol has people in a chokehold.
When the vibe is right and my mind finally lets go, that’s when uninhibited pleasure occurs and it keeps me coming back for more.
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