LINK: aggravating
When Krystiana is going through a hard time, I try to be a good “bestie” (I don’t consider anyone my bestie, personally I feel like it’s overused and three other friends also call me their bestie) and be there for her. She has two friends (me and Sandy) whom she considers to be close to and can divulge anything to. I might do extra things like pay for a nice restaurant or give her gifts to cheer her up.
But as of late, she’s been “expecting” more from me and I don’t have the bandwidth for that and I feel like an awful friend. She’s had a lot of traumatic back-to-back events happen to her in a short period of time. he is also seeing a therapist for that.
- wants me to drive towards her area when we hang out. I’ve been happy to oblige the last four times but not anymore.
- wants me to make reservations to places. Yes, I do have a list of places that I would like to go to but because she is unwilling to expand her palate, I’m limited with my choices and this does not make me happy. I don’t want to continue going to the same three restaurants. I like to try new places and maybe go back if it was exceptional, like restaurants that have omakase at an amazing price point.
- listens to her. She’s an extra extra extrovert. Sometimes, she can come off as a Karen even though she doesn’t mean to. She is learning to be assertive but there is a difference between being assertive and aggressive. The woman can talk and honestly, I’ve told her in the past that I feel like I’m more like a dude because I don’t talk as much and quite frankly, I don’t give a fuck. It’s come to the point where I’ll text her a couple of times a week and even if we are having a conversation, I will stop responding because it’s already too much for me. There’s only so many times that I can listen to her bitch about work despite me asking if she’s looked for another job. I also find myself not wanting to share personal things with her, worried that this may trigger an unnecessary lengthy conversation about what I said. So I choose to remain silent about my own happenings, while she downloads her every fiber onto me.
- to take her side on things. There are times that I do take her side but I’m also going to challenge her on things that I don’t feel are right and after I’ve said my piece, I won’t repeat myself.
I know I’m pulling away from her and she can sense the emotional distance. She asked, “You good, chica?” And I responded, “Yeah, just tired. Been working a lot more these days. I’m gonna take a nap, gnight.” This relationship, lasting over ten years, is reaching a pivotal moment where I need to reconsider its viability. I also have to consider if I have the bandwidth to continuously put limits and boundaries with her as well.
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