pay a10shun

Currently listening to: Attention – Charlie Puth

Damn, I feel like I’m being called out.  I guess I’d have to say that I should pay more attention to my brain than what my heart.

My mind is pragmatic, logical, and succinct.  It is efficient, effective, and a well oiled machine.  It can run laps without having mental fatigue. It’s go time…all the time.  Get another degree, certification, and take another class.  Fill the brain with knowledge.

My heart is wild, incoherent, and long-winded.  It wants to draw all sorts of shit out ad nauseam.  It’s all over the place and nothing gets done because I’m too distracted and become tangential. “Did I do something wrong?  Why doesn’t he like me?  Maybe I’m too ugly or a fatty…yeah remember that song by Morrissey?  You’re the one for me fatty?  But you’re not for him but still a glob of adipose tissue.  Let’s look at this mental rolodex and recall that time that Zaddy said that he didn’t see a future with you because of x, y, and z.  You’re a stupid pendeja. Let’s focus on that for a hot five minutes and move on to another toxic topic.  Rot your brain with memories of your heart breaking.

Le sigh.  The heart wants what the heart wants.