nothingness

Currently listening to: Cinnamon Girl – Lana Del Rey

There’s things I wanna talk about
But better not to give
But if you hold me without hurting me
You’ll be the first who ever did

After dinner, he followed me home.

I was too tired to take a shower.  Instead, I changed into my pajamas and then looked over at him.  He was already in my bed, under the covers, and with his arms held out for me. I sighed.

I cautiously crawled into bed and into his arms.  I turned to my left side and his body conformed with mine.  He wrapped his arms around me as if he was trying to protect me from the world.

His grip around my body became tighter.  I could feel his breath on my neck.

I closed my eyes.  My mind wandered to a part of my brain where I wished it wouldn’t…and a lone pitiful tear slowly rolled down the right side of my face and down my cheek.

This is what we do during our platonic cuddle sessions.  Nothing more and nothing less.  Neither of us are sexually attracted to each other either.  Selfishly, I just wanted to be held.  Is that so wrong?