Currently listening to: I’ll Do It – Heidi Montag
I’ll be your blonde tonight, if that’s what you like
Stilettos and fishnets, if that’s what you like
I’ll be your hot nurse, school girl in curls
Whatever your type, baby, if that’s what you like, I’ll do it
I was out having dinner with Buddy H-nothing fancy, just catching up, chatting, decompressing from the week—when suddenly, I felt it.
That unmistakable feeling of being watched.
It wasn’t overwhelming at first, just a subtle tug, like someone’s eyes had found me in a crowded room and refused to look away. I paused mid-sentence and glanced up casually… and then I froze as if time stopped.
My heart fluttered. My breath caught in my throat.
Diagonally across from our table sat a man, and for a split second—just one cruel second—I could’ve sworn it was Zaddy. Same posture, same physique and mannerisms, the same aura. I half expected him to hiss out, “Sssss Korean…” My body reacted before my mind could catch up.
Buddy H noticed immediately. “You okay? You just went pale,” he asked, his voice suddenly serious.
I couldn’t answer at first, my mind couldn’t process anything. I was still locked in that strange space where time stretches and your brain scrambles to make sense of what it’s seeing. I was immediately transported into old memories-car rides down the coast, walking around WeHo, going to museums, and watching sunsets. The confusion. The hot-and-cold. The emotional breadcrumbing.
But when I blinked again, the spell broke.
It wasn’t him.
Of course it wasn’t him.
The man’s profile was off, the facial hair wasn’t quite right, the way he smirked was completely different. But for a heartbeat, my brain had conjured him out of thin air, as if some part of me hadn’t fully let go.
I forced a smile and brushed it off, trying to shake the feeling. I sipped my hot tea and tried to collect myself. I laughed and said, “I’m always pale, remember? Anemia? It’s nothing, I thought I saw someone I knew,” I told Buddy H, I didn’t feel like divulging more than what I had already said.
I caught myself glancing up at the unknown man every now and then to confirm that it wasn’t Zaddy.
God. My head was playing tricks on me again. And for a brief moment, I let it…
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