Continuation of The Pastor Chronicles. There are six chapters to this series.
Chapter 5
Feeling terrible about the way that I had the night earlier, I decided to visit the chat room, once again. I had never been one for talking behind someone’s back. If I didn’t like someone, I didn’t have a problem being direct and honest to the person. Usually people respect honesty and authenticity at the very least. I know the Bible says to love your enemies, and bless those who curse you, and man, has there ever been anything more difficult to follow? So when Steve came on this morning, I quickly messaged him. “Listen, I’ve said these things about you. I don’t want to be a person who talks behind a person’s back. While I think that there’s truth to it, I think a lot of the reason why I said such things is out of jealousy. How stupid and juvenile, and I apologize.” He replied back very graciously, “You know we’ve all said stuff. My brother passed away in a car accident last night so let’s let the past be the past.”
I was shocked at what he said, and genuinely concerned for him. I offered my services as a pastor to him, but he politely declined. He just said he wanted to allow things to go normally and numb himself to what he was feeling. I felt bad for the guy but understood. I soon had to leave so I wished him my best. As soon as I left, I gave Ana a call. “I know that we’re not talking, but I think that someone really needs a friend right now. I’m not calling for myself. I’m calling for him.” She called me back soon after, and I told her what I knew. She said that she had already known about what happened, but was busy at the moment and would soon be there to console. I told her that I missed her and that I was sorry about the way that things turned out. She said that she would call me back later.
After that phone conversation, something rang weird to me that bugged me all day. How had she known of such information? She did not come into the chat room that morning. How was it possible for her to have known? So my mind raced for answers to my question. It was obvious to me that she had come across such information outside of public means, and had arrived at it in a very private manner. He must have called her. And if she actually gave him her phone number, was it that hard to believe that they were dating? After all, we weren’t officially dating. It was clear that we liked each other, but somehow, I always messed it up. As my mind continued to race with such a scenario, it drove me crazy. Out of all the guys that she could have chosen, she chose him? This angered me and ate away at me until I could not handle it anymore. It consumed me, and I was unable to focus on anything else.
I immediately called her. “Something about our conversation earlier struck a funny chord in me. You said that you had known about what had happened to Steve earlier. How did you come to that information? You weren’t in the chat room all morning. Did he call you? Did you give him your phone number? ARE YOU GUYS TOGETHER?” I asked frantically. “I can’t believe you are asking this. What right do you have to ask this of me? There is nothing going on between him and me. NOTHING! He is just a friend, nothing more. I don’t think of him in that manner,” she replied angrily. “Anyways, do you have any right to ask me this after the way you had been acting? I mean I saw you calling this other girl your igirlfriend. What the hell is that?” I was embarrassed at my jealousy. My mind had run circles around this idea, and it seemed to be a fact to me. I apologized profusely. I told her that the thing with the other girl was a complete joke. It was something neither of us took seriously. She was gracious this time.
We would talk about it later. She told me that she didn’t think of him that way. She assured me over and over again. I couldn’t believe my stupidity. She then went on to say that she needed to call him. He needed a friend. I didn’t want to let her go, but I understood that he needed consoling. Hanging up the phone, I felt a twinge of pain in my head.
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