acrimonious

Currently listening to: greedy – Tate McRae

Jayjay is upset with me.

He has been trying to find a way to see me.  For a while, I have been dodging his attempts and with me being legitimately busy with work, we have not been able to connect.

I purchased an item from a family friend of his online.  I paid for the shipping and a few days later, he texted me and said that he had my package and asked when I’d be home.

…ugh…there was a reason why I paid for shipping.

I know he used to like me quite a bit, especially during my Zaddy era, for whatever reason it appeared that a lot of men simultaneously were interested in me.  Was it my pheromones?

I honestly thought of him more as an older brother.  He was not my type by any means. We would go to Palm Springs just to go eat at LG Steakhouse or go to a sports bar to eat ribs and watch games.

Strangely, he would tell his girlfriends about me and they would be so eager to meet me.  Why? What was he saying?

First and foremost, I would like to state that I used to low key have problems restraining myself but his anger management issues was next level.  Add the aggression and impulsiveness…to the point where it was rather frightening at times.

I remember one instance, we went to Walmart in the middle of the night after getting drinks and he got irate that there weren’t more cashiers at the register.  In this particular incident, he accused the staff of incompetence and began crashing his cart into the aisles out of frustration.  Another instance was when a car cut him off and it instantly escalated into K-rage.  He yelled profanities and tailgated the car and then suddenly and precariously he weaved in and out of traffic so that he could get in front of the other driver, all while I sat silently, uneasy about the potentially dangerous situation unfolding before me.  As luck would have it, the other driver was an off-duty police officer.   Fuck me.  This reckless behavior added layers of discomfort to our friendship, especially when I began to realize how my safety and well-being were being compromised during these so called man tantrums.  After that, I had enough. I slowly began to pull away from him; I did not want to be around that sort of thing.

Anyway, I digress.  I told Jayjay that I would be working late and that if he wanted to drop it off on the porch or in the mailbox that would be much appreciated.  Well he did not seem to like that answer and held onto my package for another day.  I texted him the following day and offered to meet up with him over the weekend or go out for lunch (I really wanted my fucking purchase), however, but he said he had other engagements to attend.

The next day, he texted me and said that he was on his way to drop off the package.  I told him that I was home (he was going to find out anyway since my car was parked in the driveway) and asked him if he could wait so I could shower first.  No response back.  It was not until I saw him on the front door security camera that I knew he was there.  He noticed the camera and immediately texted that he dropped it off. I tried to initiate a casual conversation and invited him to lunch…however, there were no further correspondence from him.