여자이니까 – because i’m a girl (rojie’s version)

LINK: 여자이니까 – because i’m a girl (rojie’s version)

Currently listening to: Fake Love – BTS

세상을 줬네 just for you
(I gave you the world, just for you)
전부 바꿨어 just for you
(I changed everything, just for you)

Now I don’t know me, who are you?
Now I don’t know me, who are you?

Hey 우리만의 숲, 너는 없었어
(Hey, our own forest, you were not there)
내가 왔던 route 잊어버렸어
(I forgot the route I took)
나도 내가 누구였는지도 잘 모르게 됐어 (eh)
(I don’t even know who I am (eh))
거울에다 지껄여봐, 너는 대체 누구니?
(Talk to the mirror, who are you?)

널 위해서라면
(If it’s for you)
난 슬퍼도 기쁜 척 할 수가 있었어)
(I could pretend to be happy even when I was sad)
널 위해서라면
(If it’s for you)
난 아파도 강한 척 할 수가 있었어
(I could pretend to be strong even when it hurts)

사랑이 사랑만으로 완벽하길
(I hope love is perfect with just love)
내 모든 약점들은 다 숨겨지길
(May all my weaknesses be hidden)
이뤄지지 않는 꿈속에서
(In a dream that doesn’t come true)
피울 수 없는 꽃을 키웠어
(I grew a flower that couldn’t bloom)

I’ve read so many people answering the WP prompt saying that they don’t believe in soulmates or don’t think that they do not exist. TBH, it made me a bit sad..

I think I may be the odd woman out on this one when it comes to this.

Maybe it’s the Korean in me since we tend to hyper-romanticize love. I mean, have you seen our K-dramas and music videos? They’re stories about timing, fate, missed chances, and people finding their way back to one another against all odds. This music video in particular, gets me every time.

Maybe that’s the hopeless romantic in me talking. Maybe it’s the years of watching K-dramas and our culture that’s rewired my brain chemistry. Or maybe it’s simply a beautiful lie that I tell myself…

I’ve been in relationships in the past thinking that if I tried hard enough, I could change and be the perfect person for my partner. But whenever I did that, I just ended up feeling exhausted, disconnected, and lonely. I lost myself and I became unhappy because it was all fake.

Those instances taught me that love is messy, people change, and relationships fail, despite my best intentions. Mostly because I wasn’t authentic and I was desperately looking for someone to complete me instead of looking within.

I’m not naive to think that love is effortless either. Love is messy and people change. I know it’s a lot of work—compromise, forgiveness, patience, communication, and it takes hella grace… but there has to be one special person who makes it all feel worth it. It ought to feel natural instead of performative. If that person doesn’t make me feel a certain way, something that stirs something within my core, then what am I choosing? A consolation prize? Is that considered settling?