just rojie

shut up, sit down, and read

hey jealousy

Currently listening to: Obsessed  – Olivia Rodrigo

And I know you love me, and I know it’s crazyBut every time you call my name, I think you mistake me for herYou both have moved on, you don’t even talkBut I can’t help it, I got issues, I can’t help it, baby

I used to get jealous…a lot. Especially, in high school. Any girl who even looked at my then boyfriend, I’d feel this horrible K-rage building up within me. The insecurity would manifest until I imploded.  I viewed them all as a possible threat.  I was unhinged and I’d overthink EVERYTHING.  My world revolved around him, 24/7.  I lived and breathed…him.  He was my Roman Empire.


Thinking back, I can laugh about it now.  God, I was completely neurotic.  Of course they were gonna look. He was built like a fucking Adonis.  


Now?  I just don’t even like how it makes me feel and to be completely honest, I’m quite embarrassed that I was even like that.  Plus, I don’t even have the energy nor the time for all that.  If you’re here, you’re here.  If you’re not, then you’re not.  I’m not apathetic, I just learned over the years that I don’t have control over these types of things.  I can’t will a person to love me.  I can’t force something that isn’t meant to be.  And at the end of the day, I would only hurt myself if I did.  

 

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26 responses to “hey jealousy”

  1. noga noga Avatar
    noga noga

    💖💖Oh…innocent feelings. We will sort things out with the passage of time. Happy week and good luck, my love, Rojie.

    Reply
    1. justrojie Avatar
      justrojie

      Thank you so much 💜💜💜

      Reply
  2. ibarynt Avatar
    ibarynt

    Awww… young innocence. Don’t beat yourself up. We’ve all been there and done plenty of cringy stuff. When I remember how stupid I was, I still want to kick myself. Could I have been more embarrassing, and to think I would’ve thought I was cool 🤣.

    Reply
    1. justrojie Avatar
      justrojie

      You’re always cool!!! But yeah the way I’ve been acting in the past is so 😩

      Reply
      1. ibarynt Avatar
        ibarynt

        Heh heh, I better live up to that coolness, since the weather is not 😅.

        Reply
        1. justrojie Avatar
          justrojie

          It was quite warm today!! 77 degrees!

          Reply
          1. ibarynt Avatar
            ibarynt

            Oooh enjoy the weather before you have to bundle yourself.

          2. justrojie Avatar
            justrojie

            I live for this kinda weather!! 70’s are perfect

          3. ibarynt Avatar
            ibarynt

            You won’t survive Mumbai 😅

          4. justrojie Avatar
            justrojie

            😂 oh no…

    2. Sambuca teh Punker Avatar
      Sambuca teh Punker

      Iba, I’m sure you were cool. 🙂 But yeah.. young love. <3

      Reply
      1. ibarynt Avatar
        ibarynt

        Ha ha Sammy, cool with a not so cool attitude 😅.

        Reply
  3. Shel R. Avatar
    Shel R.

    I just wrote about a friend of mine who basically dropped the entire friendship after 30+ years over a lunch we didn’t even technically have planned or set in stone. I also wrote that Tyler Perry says, “If someone wants to walk out of your life – LET.THEM. GO!”. I have learned in the last few years – the same thing you said. Just like you can’t make someone love you, you can’t make them stay – no matter how you feel, what you think, etc. Be it friendships, relationships, and so on. These days, I just take things as they come, and those who stay in my life and make sure I’m loved – I appreciate them so much, and those who want to go – bye!

    Sometimes, we just have to let things play out.
    I respect you so much for admitting your feelings back then and realizing that sometimes, we have no control over them.

    Reply
    1. justrojie Avatar
      justrojie

      Thank you so much!! It wasn’t easy learning to get over it because I was also butt hurt when things didn’t go as planned. But sometimes, it’s for the better. Goshhh can’t believe about your friendship ending over a lunch. Yikes was it the catalyst or that was just it?

      Reply
      1. Shel R. Avatar
        Shel R.

        I totally understand you being hurt. We’re human, and those are normal emotions. I feel like those kinds of things make us grow and mature us.
        Yes, the lunch thing was crazy. I almost want to say it was an excuse to just end the friendship, but we’ve always been on different paths in life, and maybe that was for the best as well.
        If she ever needs me, she knows where to find me and I’ll always be there, but things happen for a reason, and I just have to accept it and move on. <3

        Reply
        1. justrojie Avatar
          justrojie

          You have a good attitude about this. Sorry to hear that it’s been dissolved but like you said, things happen for a reason…

          Reply
          1. Shel R. Avatar
            Shel R.

            A good attitude is a must. I believe that if it’s meant to work itself out, it will. If not, God had other plans. 🙂

          2. justrojie Avatar
            justrojie

            i think so too…at least that’s what i tell myself…

          3. Shel R. Avatar
            Shel R.

            Same! lol.

  4. Info man Avatar
    Info man

    Same with me , I am way too jeleous type of person, like I had a best friend ( now my ex bestie ) , i would be jeleous that she is talking to other and then I realised I felt left out most of times when I was with her and things got bad and bad and I left her . From that day I realised that if I can’t see my bestie with others , my lover ( idk if he exists) can’t just be with anyone 😂😂😂😂 😂 , I am toxic 😂😂😂.

    Reply
    1. justrojie Avatar
      justrojie

      Lolol that’s why I don’t call anyone my bestie anymore!! ☠️

      Reply
      1. Info man Avatar
        Info man

        She did something that she knows I hate and someone at wordpress told me to forgive her and I think I did , talked a day ago with her , I felt calm but I know I won’t be a friend with her anymore 😂. Things change, so do people 😂. She was my friend for 6 years .

        Reply
        1. justrojie Avatar
          justrojie

          Some relationships have expiration dates…le sigh

          Reply
          1. Info man Avatar
            Info man

            Lol

  5. Sambuca teh Punker Avatar
    Sambuca teh Punker

    True. My bf is a sweetie. He is already planning our wedding lol… but, eh. I just saw this and thought of you: https://www.tiktok.com/@stanisanthony/video/7445078388798147895?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

    Reply
    1. justrojie Avatar
      justrojie

      Awww you’re getting married?? Oooooooh. Yesss to the swifties!!

      Reply

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