what happens in vegas… day two

LINK: what happens in vegas… day two

So the venue for the drag show changed and so did the club. IDK what’s going on. I’m just here for the ride.

I prepped myself with Dramamine that morning, fully ready to survive another wild Uber ride to the drag brunch.

One of the girls was still hungover from last night and didn’t make it out to brunch. The matron of honor handed me a goodie bag and mine had written on it, “But did you die?” It almost took me out. And all these were very thoughtful gifts. I could have used the under eye patches the night before.

Drag show

I’ve been to drag show brunches in San Diego, but never in Vegas. We ended up at Hamburger Mary’s. I don’t even know if that was the original plan, but it didn’t matter because Selena—hands down, stole the show. She was spot on and all the Hispanics were in awe. The menu had a small list of different entrees, I opted for the huevos rancheros. It was mid at best, but at least the entertainment made up for it.

Bachelorette scavenger hunt

Then came the dreaded bachelorette scavenger hunt. I had to down some liquid courage from Fat Tuesday just to play along. I lucked out when I met this tall, Persian guy who was kind enough to let me wear his hat and fake propose to him on my knee. He even asked if he could help me with the rest of my list. He was a perfect gentleman. I knocked most of the five-point and ten-point challenges, but drew the line at kissing random bald heads and mustache dudes.

My partner got a bunch of douches, it was pretty annoying but she had the balls to go up to multiple randos and get it done. Of course she won second prize, she was willing to do things that I didn’t want to do. But the first place winner was the quiet soon to be sister-in-law. Damn, I didn’t expect that at all. It’s the meek ones!

A few boyfriends were big mad when they found out what their girlfriends were up to. There were receipts since we all had to take pics to validate that these tasks were completed. Things got heated and fights between the couples literally broke out. Then the boyfriends turned their anger on the matron of honor because she planned the activity. It was definitely super uncomfortable to witness. Luckily for me, no one gave a shit what I did…

Fogo De Chāo Brazilian Steakhouse

Dinner was at Fogo De Chāo Brazilian Steakhouse. Look at all the cheese on my plate. I love cheese. I also love a good churrascaria, but it seemed extra salty, and my stomach wasn’t having it (I’ve been constipated like no other the past couple of days, I know TMI. It probably doesn’t help that I’ve been slacking on exercising because I’ve been working double overtime for nearly six months now and eating all this hot garbage and liquor isn’t doing me any favors either.); which is a shame because this place is about $72 per person.

La Jolla Club

I snuck in a 30-minute nap before going to the La Jolla Club. We got there early because we didn’t know what the vibe was going to be like

The sparkler bottle girls came to our table too since we got bottle service. They acknowledged my friend’s bachelorette party.

We had our corner reserved for VIP and these two girls kept trying to join us. Our personal bouncer kept swatting away those two persistent girls. The bottles of waters kept bouncing up and down because the music was bumpin. Also, what’s up with those two humping right there? LOL. And is it even a latin club if there isn’t a luchador DJ?

Everything that could happen, happened here. One of the girls got kicked out of the club for dancing on the tables, another one became super depressed after getting drunk and was crying while FaceTiming her boyfriend, Josie flung off her heels and almost hit someone in the had with it, Ingrid was flirting with the bouncer even though she’s married and has two kids, and a short king was following Amanda around the dance floor. And me? I’m just watching this shit show unfold right before my eyes, laughing my ass off. I’m not sure if I’m delirious or just having a good time at this point.

People at the club kept buying us bottles of liquor. The nine of us went through six bottles that we paid for and I lost track of how many additional bottles were brought to our table from other VIP guests. My liver hates my little guts.

The clubs are open until 0600 here. If it were any other night, I would have closed it down but I could keep my eyes open any longer. Five of us girls chose to go back to the hotel after 0300, while the other four decided to stay. I know if I stayed longer, it would have been a disaster for me.

In the Uber back to the hotel, one girl started venting about how she kept playing wingwoman while her “friend” scooped up all the guys she had her eye on. I bit my tongue. Her “catches” seemed pretty sus to me but who am I to say? Plus, she didn’t ask for my opinion.

Bedtime?

Back in my room, I showered, I opened the curtains and laid in bed to look at the city. By this time, I was on my 1928312th wind. For a minute, I contemplated on going back to the club or staying in.

My stomach was growling so I ordered room service again because no one else wanted to go eat and I didn’t feel like leaving my room either. I really wanted pizza. And yes, I was gonna eat pizza in bed and watch true crime shows till I fall asleep. No IG stories tonight. Just me, my greasy pizza, and murder documentaries.