LINK: if only i could turn back time
Eric Dane recently passed away this week at 53 years old after a courageous battle with ALS.
Johnny Depp let Dane live rent-free in one of his Sunset Strip homes so he wouldn’t have to stress about his finances while battling ALS. This just made me respect Depp even more and it also broke my heart at the same time. The fact that a famous actor still needed financial assistance just ten months after his diagnosis—that his friends launched a GoFundMe, because Dane was paying a fortune on his medical bills out-of-pocket. It just proves how fucked up our healthcare system is. No one should have to choose between survival and bankruptcy. Healthcare isn’t a luxury. It’s a human right. Le sigh.
Many of my friends knew him as McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy but I remember him the best as deeply flawed but unforgettable, Cal Jacobs on Euphoria.
It was his final and heartfelt words to his daughters that made me take inventory of my own life.
Live now. Right now. In the present. It’s hard, but I learned to do that. For years, I wandered around mentally, lost in my head for long chunks of time, wallowing and worrying in self-pity, shame, and doubt. I’ve replayed decisions and second-guessed myself: I shouldn’t have done this. I never should’ve done that. No more. Out of pure survival, I am forced to stay in the present. But I don’t want to be anywhere else. The past contains regrets. The future remains unknown. So you have to live now. The present is all you have. Treasure it. Cherish every moment.
Second, fall in love. Not necessarily with a person, although I do recommend that as well. But fall in love with something. Find your passion, your joy. Find the thing that makes you want to get up in the morning and drives you through the entire day. I fell in love for the first time when I was about your age. I fell in love with acting. That love eventually got me through my darkest hours, my darkest days, my darkest year. I still love my work; I still look forward to it. I still want to get in front of a camera and play my part. My work doesn’t define me, but it excites me. Find something that excites you. Find your path, your purpose, your dream. Then go for it. Really go for it.
Third, choose your friends wisely. Find your people and allow them to find you. And then give yourselves to them. The best of them will give back to you-no judgment, no conditions, no questions asked. I’m so thankful for my very close family and friends. Every single one has stepped up. I can’t do the little things I used to do. I can’t drive around, go to the gym, get coffee, or hang out. But I’ve learned to embrace alternatives. My friends come to me; we eat together, watch a game, and listen to music. They don’t do anything special; they just show up. That’s a big one. Just show up. And love your friends with everything you have. Hang onto them. They will entertain you, guide you, help you, support you—and some will save you.
Finally, fight with every ounce of your being, and with dignity. When you face challenges, health or otherwise, fight. Never give up. Fight until your last breath. This disease is slowly taking my body, but it will never take my spirit. The two of you are different people, but you’re both strong and resilient. You inherited resiliency from me. That’s my superpower. You knock me down, I bounce right up, and I keep coming back. I get up again and again and again. Mark says I’m like a cat-except a cat has nine lives, and I’m on number 15, easily. So when something unexpected hits you-and it will, because that’s life-fight and face it with honesty, integrity, and grace, even if it feels or seems insurmountable.
RIP, Eric. Thank you for reminding us that time is the only thing we can’t get back…
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