why bother?

LINK: why bother?

Currently listening to: Don’t Bother – Shakira

She’s got the kind of look that defies gravity
She’s the greatest cook
And she’s fat free (Fat free, fat free, fat free)

Preface: annoyance

Sometimes, I think my male friends make better friends than my female friends. There’s less comparison and judgment, fewer unspoken expectations or tally-keeping… what they say is usually what they mean and what you see is what you get.

For almost a decade, I’ve been telling people I’m gluten-free. To be fair, the last couple of years, I haven’t been as strict as I should’ve been, but still. Suzanne used to straight up scoff whenever I talked about gluten causing inflammation, brain fog, and how dairy and gluten don’t sit well with us (Koreans) genetically. Authentic Korean food does not have any dairy in it and the fact that we now have all this cheese and cream added to the foods is causing physical issues for many people. Anyway, she’d roll her eyes like I was being a drama queen. Fast forward nine years and guess who is now gluten-free? Yes. Suzanne. Oh, and she also dropped 15 pounds. Cool. I love that for her.

Same thing with the travel and credit card hacks. When I first met Five Star, she really took me under her wing and taught me how to maximize AMEX points, book flights for less money or points, and get actual value out of hotels and its perks. I shared this knowledge with Suzanne and Brenda because I don’t gatekeep. Their response? That I was too boujee… too extra. And now? Suzanne’s out there posting on her stories about the lounges she’s been to with her Capital One Venture X card.

I genuinely don’t mind sharing information. If I learn something useful, I want people to benefit from it too. Brenda jokes that Suzanne wants to be like me, and IDK what to think about that but damn. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, ya know?

On top of that, my Gen X friends are in the midst of perimenopause right and that shit looks awful. I don’t know whether to be scared or start mentally preparing. The mood swings, the exhaustion (fuck, I’ve already got fatigue due to my anemia), and menty b’s that they’re having… it’s a total mind fuck. My mom had a total hysterectomy in her late 30’s because of large ovarian cysts bursting and causing severe bleeding, so I feel fortunate that I didn’t inherit that nightmare because I don’t think I have more red blood cells to bleed out. But watching my friends go through this era is really eye-opening. It’s one thing when it’s my patients but when it’s my close friends, it’s something else.

I try to offer suggestions to help minimize the symptoms but they aren’t trying to hear about it. They kindly tell me to fuck off and to just listen. So now I just sit there, nod, and let them vent about their boyfriends or husbands.


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23 responses to “why bother?”

  1. Violet Lentz Avatar

    I made it through peri and menopause without so much as a hiccup- and now- at 65 I have hot flashes! Go figure.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Damn! Did you have peri later or earlier ?

  2. Michael Williams Avatar

    you know, when i look around, I have a feeling that I’m not maximizing my credit card perks. if i have questions, i will ask you if it’s ok with you 🙂

    till then, Merry Christmas! Mike

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Of course!! Ask away

  3. utahan15 Avatar

    it leads
    and so oft do i bleed
    oh well as to the rest
    surely

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Oh well indeed

  4. ianmdudley Avatar

    Yeah. Perimenopause. Menopause.

    Not fun to go through, and also not fun to experience adjacently.

    I don’t envy you or any other woman.

    But things get back to normal after.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      When is the question 🙋🏻‍♀️

      1. ianmdudley Avatar

        Some questions, no man can answer.

        1. justrojie Avatar

          that’s fax, no printer

  5. Violet Lentz Avatar

    I was done at 45? I don’t know if that’s late or early?

    1. justrojie Avatar

      i would consider it early but it happens, a lot of it has to do with genetics too.

  6. Nicholas K F Matte Avatar

    Yip! Gluten free! Me as well, yes, it changed my life!!😁
    🎄🎁🎉🎈✨️

    1. justrojie Avatar

      yassss

  7. April Avatar

    That’s tea! Men do become good friends often haha…and sometimes happens to be more…

    Being a tomboy I’ve had many men friends / acquaintances. Sometimes I don’t understand the concept of “girlhood”.

    Menopause sounds kinda worrisome yeah…our bodies doesn’t stop being dramatic lol

    1. justrojie Avatar

      this is fax!!

  8. Jesse Pallante Avatar

    Yes sometimes it is better to just let your friends vent. You are a good friend.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      thank you, Jesse!! i’m trying!

  9. Hazel Avatar

    It’s still far for your menopausal, Rojie🤭 Stay healthy. Hugs.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      hehe yeah but time seems to be going fast!!

      1. Hazel Avatar

        Yeah, I think so. I might menopause 10 years from now🤭

        1. justrojie Avatar

          lol scary

          1. Hazel Avatar

            Do we have the same age if you mind sharing?

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