incel

Currently listening to: Guilty as Sin – Taylor Swift

I keep these longings locked
In lowercase inside a vault
Someone told me
There’s no such thing as bad thoughts
Only your actions talk
These fatal fantasies
Giving way to labored breath
Taking all of me
We’ve already done it in my head
If it’s make believe
Why does it feel like a vow
We’ll both uphold somehow?

In my old blog (stand alone not through WP), I used to write pretty freely about my relationships—the good, the bad, and the straight-up bizarre. I treated that space like a diary, open for the world to see. But over time, I noticed a pattern: a handful of men would crawl out of the woodwork to leave nasty, unprovoked comments. And not just once, they’d circle back multiple times a day..

I couldn’t figure it out at first. Like… do they get off on this? If they hated my posts so much, why not just keep it moving? No one was holding them hostage. And yet, they kept coming back with that same tired bitterness, typing out their little essays of hate like it was their civic duty. I’d get texts from my friends like, “Did you see what that guy wrote this time?” or “Girl, you need to shut down your comments.” It was exhausting. And honestly, creepy… especially the stalkers.

Eventually, I found out that some of the rude comments came from incels. Involuntarily celibate men who would blame women for their lack of romantic or sexual success. A toxic little corner of the internet where hostility toward women is worn like a badge of honor. And not just women, either, they hate sexually active men too.

That explained a lot.

This is one of the reasons why I moderate comments now. I’m not trying to censor people’s comments but I do want to set boundaries and not let bitter keyboard warriors hijack or troll my blog.


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26 responses to “incel”

  1. Hazel Avatar

    I didn’t know how to turn off comments, even though I don’t have a plan. But, thankfully, WordPress has an automatic setting to approve or spam comments.

    Did you delete that blog account? Good thing, we didn’t find those rude comments here.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      I closed that account and stopped paying for the domain. It was an interesting time…

      1. Hazel Avatar

        Justrojie.com is going to be great here. Stay authentic, Rojie.

        1. justrojie Avatar

          Thank you, Hazel!

  2. Jesse Pallante Avatar

    True it is so easy. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. Incels are the worst. They live in their parents’ basement and are keyboard warriors. Some are mean. You don’t need that energy because you are awesome 👌.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Thanks so much, Jesse!! There was so much hate… ugh

  3. Jesse Pallante Avatar

    Yes you don’t deserve any of it. That is so weird. They couldn’t just read it and not comment hateful things. That is just wrong. You are dynamite. You writings are very good. Maybe it was jealousy. I am just saying.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Nahhh it def wasn’t that… but I appreciate you!

  4. Emily Avatar
    Emily

    I hate incels. I’ve always moderated my comments on my blog, here and when I used to be on Blogger. I don’t need that trash on my site.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      It’s so annoying!!! Ugh, wish they would just skip the comments and move on

      1. Emily Avatar
        Emily

        What they really need to do is go outside. Also perhaps if they worked out and masturbated more then they wouldn’t feel so bad about themselves.

        1. justrojie Avatar

          Facts!! All of this

  5. Violet Lentz Avatar

    I just learned what incels were last year. I do believe they troll the internet passionately- and that is just plain creepy.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      It’s like their life mission

  6. utahan15 Avatar

    there are bad thoughts
    shit i did fifty odd years ago
    and my desire for the next
    attempt to succeed
    if you know what i mean

    1. justrojie Avatar

      I think I do

      1. utahan15 Avatar

        even mel torme did the dew. you too.

  7. Info-Man Avatar

    Sometimes I think why do people spread so much hate ,it nice to moderate comments Rojie , setting boundaries is the best thing ever.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Prolly cause they’re miserable in their own lives…

  8. Epexshop Avatar

    👍👍👍👍👍

  9. ibarynt Avatar

    This reminds me of a European series I watched, where the guy ultimately targets women because of his own insecurities. They start from the keyboard and left unchecked can spiral into something more dangerous.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      They’re a dangerous nuisance

    2. Emily Avatar
      Emily

      This actually happened in Canada. In Toronto a rabid incel ran down a bunch of people with a van in 2018 due to his own sexual insecurities. It was awful.

      1. justrojie Avatar

        Omgggggah

      2. ibarynt Avatar

        That was madness 😠

        1. justrojie Avatar

          What is wrong with people 😩

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