Currently listening to: No Time To Die – Billie Eilish
That I’d fallen for a lie
You were never on my side
Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you’ll never see me cry
There’s just no time to die
On Thursday, we had a potluck at work. I brought chips with a garlic and Asiago cheese dip, thanks to Trader Joe’s for coming in clutch. I barely had a second to think about food though; I was caught up seeing patients all day. At one point, I asked one of my assistants to make me a plate, and she did not hold back. She brought me this heaping serving loaded with an L.A. hotdog, chips, esquites, mac salad, and pasta salad. There goes my cleanse…
I pulled an all nighter working till Friday 0530 for my consulting job since two projects were due before the weekend. On top of that, I’ve got an upcoming audit for my secondary job that I need to start prepping for.
I passed out shortly afterward, I didn’t wake up until 1400. The whole morning slipped right past me, and by the time I sat up, we were already knee-deep in the afternoon. I didn’t feel like doing much, and I definitely wasn’t in a festive mood. A few friends and coworkers texted “Happy 4th of July,” and I responded with a heart or a thumbs up. I didn’t have the energy to engage beyond that. It’s hard to feel celebratory when so much of the world feels like it’s going to the shitter.
Eventually, I dragged myself out of bed and made a cup of coffee using Cometeer—freeze-dried coffee pods that dissolve right into hot water. A friend gave me a code for four free boxes. Then I threw together a salad and made some chicken with chimichurri sauce to go with it.
I spent most of the afternoon sorting through my closet. It was long overdue. I’ve been putting it off because I knew it would take time. I ended up filling four bags with clothes and accessories for my favorite local charity. It was harder than I expected; so many of the pieces were still things I liked, things I could imagine myself wearing again. But I reminded myself that someone else might actually need them. And that made it easier to let go.
After a quick nap, I woke up and finished the last project for my consulting gig while the rest of the world was outside gathering for barbecues and fireworks. I could hear distant pops of fireworks and people celebrating, but I stayed in my bubble. I’ve been doing too much peopling these days and I needed to reset because I’ll be busy again over the weekend.
I hope people had a good day. I really do. Even if I didn’t feel the need to celebrate this year, it’s comforting to know that someone, somewhere, is enjoying themselves.
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