Currently listening to: Sucker – Jonas Brothers
I’m a sucker for you
You say the word and I’ll go anywhere blindly
I’m a sucker for you, yeah
Any road you take, you know that you’ll find me
I’m a sucker for all the subliminal things
No one knows about you (About you), about you (About you)
And you’re makin’ the typical me break my typical rules
It’s true, I’m a sucker for you, yeah
Who is the most confident person you know?
Zaddy.
The most confident, self-assured, cocky MF I’ve ever encountered. He carried himself with an ease that bordered on arrogance, the kind of energy that could make a room turn just to soak it in. If you didn’t know him you may have thought he was a narcissist, no doubt, but it was wrapped in charm and undeniable presence. I had never met anyone quite like him before.
I don’t know if it was intentional—if he designed it that way—but next to him, I sometimes felt like an impotent child. Whatever power I had cultivated in my country bumpkin life felt insignificant in comparison to his. It wasn’t just his intelligence or the way he commanded conversations, but the way he maneuvered through life as if the world bent to his will. I never felt like his equal—not because I lacked capability, but because my own insecurities and his carefully crafted mind games kept me at a disadvantage.
And yet, he made me feel good, in other ways that mattered. Sexually, he unfurled me, knew how to pull strings I didn’t even realize were there. I knew he was brilliant, and I couldn’t always counter him in conversation—his knowledge extended beyond mine in certain realms. Entertainment, art, high fashion, the intricacies of travel—these were his playgrounds. But I had my own domains: health care trends, diseases, sex, classical music, expressive writing, technology, and being Korean. That was where I thrived.
There were times, though, when his endless talking grated on my nerves. He had the ability to drone on and on. Sometimes, I disassociated entirely without realizing it, letting his words become white noise. Other times, I’d gently caress his face and begin kissing him passionately so that he would shut the fuck up. I much preferred the latter because it was way more enjoyable.
Maybe that was part of the appeal. The push and pull, the contrast. The way his years of experience made him seem untouchable, yet somehow, I had been let into his world… and I let him in my world.
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