compartmentalize

Currently listening to: Burn – Usher

When your feeling ain’t the same and your body don’t want to
But you know, gotta let it go ’cause the party ain’t
Jumpin’ like it used to, even though this might bruise you (No, no)
Let it burn, let it burn, gotta let it burn
Deep down, you know it’s best for yourself, but you
Hate the thought of her bein’ with someone else
But you know that it’s over, we knew it was through
Let it burn (Let it burn), let it burn (Let it burn), gotta let it burn

I’ve always been good at compartmentalizing—work, family, friends, love life. Whatever life throws at me, I tuck it away neatly, stacking my emotions into labeled boxes, shutting the lids tight. It’s a system that works. Most of the time.

If I didn’t do it, I wouldn’t be able to function. I can’t let my personal business affect my work, nor can I allow something that happened mere minutes ago dictate the rest of my day.

In healthcare, we’re taught early on to put our emotions aside and do the job, no matter what. A patient’s life doesn’t wait for us to process our feelings or have a meltdown. It’s a skill—necessary, but also dangerous. Because while I can box up the emotions, that doesn’t mean they disappear. It just means I’ve delayed dealing with them and will have to wait till I have time to integrate it all.

It’s usually the heavier things that get compartmentalized:

  • A breakup I don’t have time to grieve.
  • An unexpected death in the family.
  • The patient I lost on my shift but I have more in the queue.
  • The abuse I witnessed but all I could do was treat the injury and file a report with the local authorities, Adult Protective Services, or Child Welfare System.
  • The things I hear, the things I see, the things I smell, the weight of it all.

Most of the time, the system holds. I go about my day, pretending the boxes don’t exist. But there are moments—quiet, unexpected moments—when one of those lids cracks open. And no matter how hard I try to shove it back into place, some things refuse to stay buried.

I think that you should let it burn…


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22 responses to “compartmentalize”

  1. Violet Lentz Avatar

    Believe it or not, there are many similarities between the service industry and what you so deftly describe above. At risk of coming off as the voice of doom, be warned, it is not unusual for those compartments to exceed maximum occupancy, and when they do, at least in my case, the walls we have built that enable us to proceed as directed in public remain steadfast, while the walls of one’s personal life come crumbling down. Forewarned is forearmed.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Very true. I try to address the issues after work but my bandwidth is pretty spent by then. It’s the weekends when I decompress.

  2. Hazel Avatar

    Such a job needs courage, and you mustn’t show weakness toward your patient.

    It sounds like you are so strong handling such emotions, rojie

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Not sure about strong but I try to just do my best…

      1. Hazel Avatar

        You always did, rojie. That’s great!

  3. ibarynt Avatar

    Take care Rojie, you need it as much or more, you experience second hand pain and heartache on a daily basis.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Thank you, Iba!!

  4. Nicholas K F Matte Avatar

    Man! I didn’t know you did all that! “Keep ‘er between the ditches!” Hey? As they say in trucking. Ya!

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Haha I guess so… it gets wild sometimes

  5. Laura Avatar

    We have to compartmentalize especially in healthcare. It’s so hard, but it’s important too as well to keep moving on to the next. Not always healthy 🙏 as time goes on you become desensitized. So much good and bad in both instances but I always feel like the grief comes back to haunt 😩 ugh

    1. justrojie Avatar

      It does and sometimes 10 folds

  6. Jeanie M Avatar

    This was such a powerful read—thanks for sharing. It’s amazing how we all have our own ways of compartmentalizing and dealing with life’s weight. Funny enough, it kind of reminds me of carpet cleaning (bear with me here!)—you can ignore the dirt for a while, but eventually, it builds up and needs a deep clean to really clear it out. Sometimes emotions are the same way, right? Anyway, this really resonated with me—thanks again for opening up!

    1. justrojie Avatar

      yass definitely like carpet cleaning because if you don’t take care of it sooner it’s going to be a bigger mess later on!

  7. Maddie Cochere Avatar

    I suspect you have the ability to do this far more than I do (you are a strong woman!), but I understand completely what you are saying. I’ve wanted to break down and cry and scream over things in my life, but I moved on through the day-to-day, choking it all back, smiling, doing my job. Finally, I’m at a place where I don’t have to compartmentalize anymore.

    *strong woman – you, Rojie, know who you are, you take charge of your life, you live your life on your terms. You are successful, intelligent, kind, caring. I say you are one of the strongest women I know. 🙂

    1. justrojie Avatar

      🥹thank you, Maddie!!

  8. April Avatar

    healthcare is such a tough industry….

    Sending hugs! Also, this reminded me of Succession episode when Shiv is grieving… And then Tom says – “are you scheduling your grief”…

    1. justrojie Avatar

      Ooh I haven’t seen that show before

  9. Jesse Pallante Avatar

    I think you need to let the boxes burn and take a relaxing bath with bubbles and soothe all the pain you stuff in the boxes, just saying 😉.

    1. justrojie Avatar

      I plan on lots of r&r this weekend

        1. justrojie Avatar

          thanks, Jesse!

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