Currently listening to: Here – Alessia Cara
Excuse me if I seem a little unimpressed with thisAn anti-social pessimist, but usually I don’t mess with thisAnd I know you mean only the bestAnd your intentions aren’t to bother me
I sleep with four blankets because I’m always cold, yet I still go to bed naked or in the lightest pajamas possible. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s what feels right.
I make plans with friends, and when they cancel, my first thought is relief—finally, a quiet night to myself. But then, the more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. It’s not just this time; it’s a pattern. And that’s when I decide to mute them on socials.
It started at work, my assistants and I talk like we’re texting. “Tee bee aych, I don’t think she did that. El oh el.” It’s second nature at this point because now I do it with my friends, but sometimes I catch myself and wonder when this became my normal.
I dislike working out, but I hate how I feel when I don’t. So I push myself through it, not because I enjoy it, but because the alternative is worse. It’s a constant back and forth between resistance and necessity.
I can be shy and socially awkward, I don’t like being the main character, yet I have no problem posting selfies like I am auditioning to be an influencer.
I go to concerts and record almost everything (I have a terabyte of memory on my phone), even though I know I should put my phone down and just enjoy the moment. But having those videos lets me relive the experience over and over again even though I could relive those moments in my head too.
I love typing on my phone in bed, but the moment I need to actually write something important—like a blog post—suddenly, I need a full keyboard and a desk setup. My phone is good for everything… but this.
Make it make sense.
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