Currently listening to: Break Your Heart – Taio Cruz feat. Ludacris
Listen, now I’m only gonna break your heart
And shatter and splatter it all into little itty-bitty pieces
Whether or not you get it all together
Then it’s finders, keepers, and losers weepers
See, I’m not tryin’ to lead you on
No, I’m only tryin’ to keep it real
Prequel:
BDE
…wait for me…
Big D and I share a history that runs deep—almost fifteen years. We’ve walked through life together, always orbiting the same circle of friends, moving through the same three states, until he finally put down roots in Washington.
Through the years, we grew together, laughed together, and stood by each other through moments both big and small. It would’ve been the easiest thing in the world for us to fall into something more—our connection was undeniable. And he tried. He asked me, time and time again, to let him take me out, to be his girlfriend. And every time, I said no.
When he moved to Washington, he begged to visit me every week, and though I wanted him to, I wouldn’t let him. A part of me started to detach the moment he left, not because I stopped caring, but because I knew deep down… how long could we keep this up? I wasn’t going to chase him up north, and he wasn’t going to move back to California.
The truth is, we brought out both the best and the worst in each other. I’ve seen him with his exes, and he’s seen me with mine—those weren’t love stories, they were tragedies. He knew exactly how to challenge me, how to make me feel alive, how to push my buttons in ways no one else could. And I did the same to him. And deep down, I know… if we had crossed that line, we would’ve burned out, leaving nothing but ashes behind. I couldn’t risk it, he meant too much to me as my friend.
I know he loved me. And I know he still does. Maybe a part of me will always love him, too. But sometimes love isn’t meant to be romantic. Sometimes love is knowing when to let go, when to hold on, and when to cherish something for exactly what it is. And this? This was something real. Something steady. Something good.
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