What was your favorite subject in school?
Favorites:
- AP physics
- AP chemistry
- AP British Literature
- AP English Literature and Composition
- AP Calculus II
- AP World History
- Spanish V
For the most part, I loved school except the bullies and physical education. My high school was ranked in the top ten within the state.
I was teased a lot growing up…so when my coworker told me today that her son was bullied at school, I could empathize. My coworker is a Mexican-American second generation. She said that the white kids at school told her son that he better start packing his shit because come January, he and the rest of the Mexicans were going to be deported. God, sometimes kids can be so cruel and be such a bag of dicks.
In physical education, the school wouldn’t let us wear sweats. It was shorts and a t-shirt. I hated it. I felt like my legs resembled white thick radishes and all I wanted to do was hide in a pair of Adidas Adibreak pants. I’m also not very coordinated so playing sports that required good hand-eye coordination were a nightmare for me.
I’ve always been self-conscious about my body. Thanks to my mom. She would always make a comment about my face, skin, ass, and thighs. She’d tell me to wear tunics to cover my ass or not wear certain colors such as yellow because it makes me look jaundice.
Once, my first boyfriend mentioned that I was gaining weight. I was fifteen years old and weighed 134 pounds at 5’6″. I stopped eating lunch and dinner, for breakfast, I consumed a can of Diet Coke, half of an apple, and a quarter of a bagel. I joined track because he was in track. We would run for miles and I was in pure bliss because we were running side by side from one another. Then when I dropped too much weight and was 95 pounds, he said that I was getting too bony. I wore multiple layers of clothing to hide it from my parents and friends. I didn’t care. Instead of eating during lunch, I’d go to the library and watch him. Like a fucking stalker. A God damn mother fucking creeper.
Whenever, I’d go out on dates, I’d wonder if I looked fat. If I see pics of a dude’s ex-girlfriend, I’ll obsess about how much fatter I am than her. I never believe it when men tell me I look good. Liars. Like that one time, Zaddy said I looked nice. Yeah right. He’s worked with models and other beautiful people…and I’m supposed to believe that. That’s laughable.
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