i had to fall… to lose it all

LINK: i had to fall… to lose it all

Currently listening to: Losers – Post Malone feat. Jelly Roll

Yeah, this one’s for the losers
The outcasts and the sinners
The ain’t never been no winners
Let’s hear it for the Losers
Ain’t got nowhere to fit in
There’s a place you can always get in, oh
You might be lonely, but you’re never alone
You’re right here where you’re supposed to be
Right here with all the Losers
The ones like you
And the ones like me

Play

What would you do if you lost all your possessions?

I’ve lost everything before and clawed my way back to where I am now.

When I ended things with my ex-fiancé, it was a week before the wedding. A week. Everything was already set — venue booked, the catering paid for, the flowers and cake ordered. Hundreds of guests had RSVP’d, including my fam from the motherland. My parents had gone all out, buying him a Giorgio Armani suit, button up shirt, belt, leather shoes, a Cartier watch, and cuff links.

When I pulled the plug, I lost more than just deposits. I lost face, sleep, money, and a version of myself I spent years building. I sold my house just to get out of Dodge, taking an $80,000 loss. I don’t even want to share with y’all how much money I lost in total because it is embarrassing and it really put me in a dark place in my life. And let’s not include the time, energy, love, and trust that I poured into something that ended up going up in flames.

Starting over was brutal. I had worked so hard, saving for years to create a life that I thought would be forever… and in a week, it all disintegrated. But somehow, I found the will to rebuild and reinvent myself.

I think the only things I would care about now (possession-wise)… would be my house and car.  If those were gone, I guess I’d have to start all over now wouldn’t I?  I’m sure my friends would invite me to couch surf at their crib but I hate imposing on others.

There are different ways I suppose I could make money to supplement and make up for the losses:

• become a rent-a-friend in Japan. I’ve hard that those with Hikikomori Syndrome will pay for these services. The rent-a-friend doesn’t have to talk they are just present… they are just there. If the person eats, the rental friend eats along with the person in silence. Since I’m generally quiet and I’m told that my vibe is chill in person, this may suit me. I heard that they charge $100 per 1-2 hours.
• go back to school to be a finance bruh and do both buyside and sellside.
• influencer on social media
• slinging my feet pics on FeetFinder
• become a findom
• professional cuddler (strictly cuddling), their rates range from $50-300 per hour
• I’ve been asked if I’d to OF, not just by Zaddy but by other men. The answer has always been “no”.