Do you see yourself as a leader?
Currently listening to: Circus – Britney Spears
All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circusWhen I crack that whip everybody gon’ trip just like a circusDon’t stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can doEverybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus
What it takes to be an exceptional leader is the ability to:
- collaborate with others and not get territorial
- delegate
- handle difficult and delicate situations with tact and awareness
- be empathetic
- evaluate processes to improve systems that are in place
- manage budgets and resource allocation
- monitor financial performance
- lead by example and with compassion
- be transparent
- provide empowerment to the staff
- bend it like Beckham as far as flexibility goes
- give clear communication
- learn agility
- build influence and buy-in
- maintain unbiased
- manage staffing
- be PC, diplomatic
- drink the kool-aid
- be innovative
- ensures that services are met
- provide coordination of care
- advocate for staff and patients
- exude confidence
- work with neuroticism
Some of these are difficult for me because I’m an introvert and I hate talking to people unless I’m comfortable with them (that could easily take years) or presenting in front of my peers or executive leadership. I tend not to drink the kool-aid because every entity has their issues and glossing over them doesn’t help matters. I have the tendency to work myself into the ground till I’m burnt out crispy. I was working 76-90 hours a week. You would have thought I was living in Korea or Japan with the hours I’ve been clocking in. There were times when I wanted to cry while driving home but I was too tired to shed any tears.
The last time I was in management, I was hovering over 106-110 pounds. I was very smol for my height. I was drinking coffee around the clock, eating gummy bears, and Cheez-It (white cheddar) when I had time. Staff would buy me food, candy, and coffee just to sustain me. Don’t even get me started with the staff calling out sick or their shenanigans. It was like having adult children (who were older than me), which was something I was not prepared for and took me a minute to figure out how to handle these maladaptive behaviors.
And the meetings…back to back, when I had better things to do with my time. Honestly, 90% of the meetings could have been an e-mail. I don’t want to sit there and listen to you process your thoughts about a question that was asked during the useless meeting. My dentist told me that I was grinding my teeth and he asked me if I was stressed. I had the most bewildered look on my face because at that moment, I didn’t know what I was anymore. Whatever fire and passion I had at the beginning of my management career dwindled into ashes when I was finished. I developed decision making fatigue. If I was out with friends, I was the most amenable person out of the bunch. Just make the decision, I don’t give a fuck, as long it doesn’t require me to formulate any answers. I’ll go wherever, eat whatever, and do anything.
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