Currently listening to: Ex-Girlfriend – No Doubt
We keep repeating mistakes for souvenirs
And we’ve been in between the days and years
And I know that when I see you I’m going to die
I know I’m going to want you and you know why
It’s going to kill me to see you with the next girl
‘Cause I’m the most gorgeously jealous kind of ex-girl
But I should’ve thought of that before we kissed
Time passed and Zaddy texted me, “There’s a knot in my heart.”
I didn’t respond back. I didn’t want to know. If I don’t ask…I won’t know…
Another three weeks passed and he wrote, “You asked me to tell you. Ro, I love someone else. I’m happy. I hope you are well also.”
I didn’t respond back because I didn’t know how to…I was dying inside. I was also questioning my sanity at this point because why haven’t I blocked him yet? Why was I torturing myself like this? Because I felt like I deserved it? Am I a masochist?
I didn’t know what to make of this. I didn’t want to be number two in his life. I wanted to be his only one. But I knew I’d never be that to him.
Less than two weeks later, he texted, “This trip has been so hard. I miss you so much.”
I finally responded an hour later, “You have the wrong #”… I don’t know why I typed that. All I knew was that I hurt all over.
My head and heart were spinning out of control. What did this all mean? What am I doing? But ask me if my stupid ass blocked him? No. I didn’t.
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