Currently listening to: Forever – 수호 (Suho)
He took me out on a date to a new sushi restaurant and I became a monster. There’s something about those eclectic rolls that turns me into a ravenous beast. Watch the fuck out! When it comes to sushi I have an insatiable appetite.
Earlier today, my friend asked me for relationship advice. I told her that I was most definitely the wrong person to ask. If you saw the body counts I’ve had, it’s no bueno. But don’t get it twisted, I didn’t fuck everyone. Just a select few. Mis favoritos.
I said to her, “You can vent to me, and at the most, I could provide a different perspective or see things from another lens in the situationship that you’re in.” She is currently dating two men and she doesn’t know which one to choose. I asked her how many dates she’s been on with them and she said three and two respectively. I asked her if she had a magnetic pull towards either of them and she couldn’t tell me one way or another. I asked if she had a physical attraction towards one more than the other. She said that she did but that it was fairly close to being neutral. She’s afraid of making the wrong choice. Does she pick the predictable and dull one or the guy who gives her butterflies and is exciting?
I told her that I couldn’t make that decision for her. She could make a pros and cons list. She could continue to date both till she has a better inkling of who the better match would be but it could blow up in her face and she could lose both of them. She could go with the nice and boring dude and possibly be in an ordinary relationship but it would provide her with stability. Or go with the stimulating guy who takes her breath away, who could take her on the wildest rollercoaster of a ride of her life.
As she was telling me her story, I couldn’t help but feel as though it was déjà vécu and déjà senti. I’ve been through this. I felt this before.
“Do you call herAlmost say my name?‘Cause let’s be honestWe kinda do sound the sameAnother actressI hate to think that I was just your type”
I shared with her my own similar experience, the whirlwind of conflicting emotions…that I endured. It was awful for me and them. I was being pulled in both directions simultaneously. Initially, I thought it was fun because I was “just dating” and getting to know them. One was older, the other was younger…and I was in between. They were extremely different, from one spectrum to the other. As months passed, I contemplated whether or not I should just not see either of them and start anew. It was becoming overwhelming and everyone’s feelings were getting hurt, mine included. I was losing sleep over it and I did not look well.
I looked at old pictures of me during that period and even though I smiled, I could see that I was fucked up. I saw the pain I was going through but I couldn’t stop. I wanted my cake and eat it too. I was a greedy bitch. I never told her who I chose because I didn’t want my choice to sway her in any way.
Anyway, after talking to her for an hour, from the sounds of it, she seems to be leaning towards the spicy gent. The allure of excitement and passion is hard to resist, even if it comes with its fair share of challenges. I can empathize with her on every level.
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